


What's Wrong With Secretary Chae?

by Anonymous



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-15 21:45:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17536826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Inspired bythistweet, What's Wrong With Secretary Kim?, and comment_fic prompts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SherlockianSyndromes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockianSyndromes/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Secretary Chae delivers some bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Wonho's gym selfies.

The thing about being secretary for the president of the company was that the president pretty much lived his job, so Hyungwon also had to live his. He had to be at the office before Sajangnim arrived to make sure there was coffee and a snack and the relevant business publications on his big shiny glass desk when he arrived. He had to be at the office long after everyone else left because Sajangnim was on an important phone call to some place on the other side of the world and he needed supper and maybe a late evening snack and also to go over the next day’s itinerary before the work day was officially over.

Hyungwon had never expected to have to travel with Sajangnim, though. Granted, traveling with Sajangnim meant hanging back with Hyunwoo-sunbae, the driver, and carrying all the luggage and being crammed into economy class (which was unfair, because Hyungwon was taller than Sajangnim, had much longer legs). Hyungwon and Hyunwoo-sunbae usually shared a hotel room, but Hyungwon had to be up bright and early to make sure Sajangnim had breakfast and coffee and also to pick out his tie for the day. Sajangnim always stayed in a lovely penthouse suite with enough room for all three of them and three more besides, but he always stayed alone.

Hyungwon might have been less bitter about the demands of his job and how lonely it made him if he didn’t also see how alone Sajangnim was too. Half the time Hyunwoo-sunbae would excuse himself to call his family - he had a very sweet wife and a couple of small sons - and it would be just Hyungwon and Sajangnim left alone at a restaurant, eating together in companionable silence. Hyungwon was very good at being silent around his boss, the man he’d been in love with for years.

The man he was leaving, because he couldn’t stand the gaping chasm between them anymore.

Hyungwon was annoyed but not particularly surprised when, at about one a.m. local time, when it was about five a.m. back home, his phone buzzed on his nightstand. He reached out and scooped it up, checked it so the buzzing wouldn’t wake Hyunwoo-sunbae, and squinted at the message, because he didn’t have his glasses.

Sajangnim needed him immediately. 

Hyungwon slid out of bed and dressed quickly and quietly, made his way up the stairs to Sajangnim’s suite, knocked on the door.

There was no response.

His phone buzzed again.

_ Where are you? You should be here by now. _

Hyungwon tapped out a response.  _ I knocked on your door. You didn’t answer. _

Sajangnim’s response was almost immediate.  _ I’m in the gym on the third floor. _

Hyungwon blinked at his phone, dazed and a little confused and still sleepy. He knew Sajangnim cared about his personal fitness very much, had a gym installed in his home, but he’d never been called upon to assist the man in the gym. Hyungwon had never been one for the gym. He was naturally terribly skinny and had to eat about as much as Hyunwoo-sunbae (who was also health-conscious, on account of having been a competitive swimmer in his youth and also being Sajangnim’s bodyguard).

Hyungwon drifted toward the elevators, tapping out a reply as he went.  _ On my way. _

When he stepped into the gym, it was mostly empty, save for some women - and Sajangnim, wearing a white tank top and black shorts and some kind of fancy belt around his waist. He was doing some kind of upper body exercise on a fancy machine, but for one moment Hyungwon couldn’t breathe, because - 

Because Sajangnim had thick thighs.

Sajangnim’s entire body was thick muscle. He had a bit of a baby face, and when he was dressed in an expensive suit, he looked more like a supermodel than a businessman, but -

Hyungwon cleared his throat, scurried closer. He bowed respectfully.

“What do you need, Sajangnim?”

“Chae-bisou,” Sajangnim began, finishing one last rep with the weights and sitting up straight. He’d been listening to music, but he popped out his earbuds. He pouted and posed at his phone, took a selfie, then set his phone aside. “How long have you been my secretary?”

“For ten years.”

“How long do you think you’ll be my secretary for?”

“One more month,” Hyungwon said.

Sajangnim looked startled, like a cat splashed with cold water. “What?”

“I was going to turn in my notice later today, start posting for a replacement, but since you asked…”

Sajangnim sat up straighter. “Chae Hyungwon, are you leaving me?”

“Ten years is a long time to be a secretary,” Hyungwon said. “And it’s time for me to move on.” Because he couldn’t keep being around someone he loved so fiercely who was so far out of reach, and besides, he’d finally paid off all the debt left behind after his father’s death and his little sister going to university. He’d been a good son. 

Sajangnim leaned in. “But - why?” He looked genuinely startled. And maybe a little hurt.

No, that was Hyungwon’s imagination. Hyungwon swallowed hard. He was terribly distracted by how little Sajangnim was wearing, how his entire body gleamed with sweat, how his muscles slid beneath his golden skin.

“As I said, it’s time for me to move on.” Hyungwon kept his expression polite, neutral.

Sajangnim rested his elbows on his thighs, raised an eyebrow. The low collar of his tank top gaped. Hyungwon resolutely did not look at his boss’s chest. “Chae-bisou, I’ve been good to you, haven’t I?”

“You’ve paid me fairly, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said. Which was true. Yes, he kept crazy hours, but he was paid well. 

“Then why would you leave?” 

“Because,” Hyungwon said, “it’s time. Time for you to find someone else to pick out your ties and bring flowers to your girlfriends and boyfriends and be there whenever you need. Only two kinds of people spend as much time around each other as we do, and those are lovers - or secretaries. I’m not your lover, and I’m finished being a secretary.”

Sajangnim sat back, non-plussed.

Hyungwon bowed respectfully. “I will make sure you have breakfast on time.” He turned to go.

Sajangnim said, “I told you once, you could call me Hoseok-sunbae, or even hyung if you wanted.”

Shin Hoseok was above and beyond Hyungwon’s sunbae. And calling him Hoseokie-hyung or even just Hyung - there lay danger.

“I appreciate it, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said, and bowed again. He walked away.

Later that morning, as he knotted Sajangnim’s tie, he resolutely did not think of the man’s thick, muscular thighs or strong chest or arms beneath his perfectly-tailored clothes. He just smiled and kept his head down and said, respectfully,  _ Yes, Sajangnim. _

“So you finally told him,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said, while he and Hyungwon were waiting in the car together while Sajangnim had a lunch date with a beautiful French woman.

Hyungwon nodded.

“I know some nice people, if you like,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said. “So does Kihyun. If you want.”

Hyungwon said, “Maybe that would be best.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sajangnim crashes the team retreat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Includes lyrics from EXO's "Universe."
> 
> And vague allusions to the From Zero music video.

Team outings were important activities, promoting team cohesiveness, loyalty, and friendship. Hyungwon could remember the first time he’d gone out with his team, having soju and barbecue pork rind and then singing the night away at a noraebang. He’d been surprised at some of his teammates’ singing skills, and they’d been surprised by his.

Even if he was only going to be with the company for one more month, he wasn’t going to start shirking his duties, and the quarterly team retreat was right around the corner. He’d consulted his teammates and, after some consideration, they’d all agreed that they wanted to go camping. It would be fun to hike and go out into the wild and shed the pressures of city life, enjoy nature and fresh air and quiet.

It was only fitting, Hyungwon supposed, that he’d managed to find a candidate to replace him in time for said replacement to join the team on the retreat. He’d had to badger Sajangnim into meeting the top three candidates after he’d done all the work himself to post the job, screen the applicants, and do the initial interviews. (He’d solicited Hyunwoo-sunbae’s help, because Hyunwoo-sunbae was the only other person who spent nearly as much time with Sajangnim as Hyungwon did, and he knew Sajangnim best, knew who would be a good fit).

Minhyuk was a very cheerful, bright, bubbly young man, a bit prone to chattering and loud laughter, but he had boundless energy, was eager to learn, and was rarely fazed by strange requests, would get to them without question. He was, apparently, also a good cook, which Hyungwon was pleased by, had agreed to bring a good supply of meat for them to barbecue at their campsite. Kihyun and Hyunwoo-sunbae were good cooks, so the entire team was in for a couple of days of very good meals.

They met out front of the office building very early on a Saturday morning, camping gear and coolers full of food and beer in hand. Hyunwoo-sunbae had secured a company van for their use, and he pulled up, then hopped out to help everyone load their supplies in. Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung were in charge of entertainment, had brought cards and a little radio. They also had plans for team-building games, but they’d kept those secret.

“By the way,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said in a low voice to Hyungwon, “Kihyun reached out to his friend Jooheon, if you’d like to go out on a blind date next week.”

“That would be nice,” Hyungwon said, keeping his voice just as low.

And then Minhyuk was bowing and saying, “Good morning, Sajangnim!”

The others bowed hastily.

Hyungwon turned and bowed, startled and confused. He ran Sajangnim’s calendar. He had no appointments this weekend, and Hyungwon would have received notice if some emergency appointments had been added to his calendar. But Sajangnim wasn’t dressed for the office. He was wearing jeans and a soft sweater over a t-shirt and carrying a camping pack.

“Good morning,” he said, grinning, and he looked devastatingly handsome. “I brought some beef to share.” He also had a cooler.

Hyungwon stared at him. “Sajangnim. You’re here for the team retreat?”

Sajangnim nodded, smiling.

“You never come on team retreats,” Kihyun said, and Hyunwoo-sunbae nudged him sharply.

Then he hurried to take the cooler from Sajangnim, load it into the back of the van. “How did you get here? Did you take a cab?”

Sajangnim laughed. “I do know how to drive. So - who’s sitting up front with Hyunwoo?”

“Hyungwon, because he is navigating,” Minhyuk said, and Hyungwon wanted to bless him, because there was no way he could handle sitting that close to Sajangnim for three hours in the van. 

Hyungwon had been looking forward to a weekend without Sajangnim, without seeing his face or hearing his voice or maybe even without thinking about him.

Was it just his imagination, or did Sajangnim look...disappointed?

“If you like, Sajangnim, you can sit in the middle of the front bench so you don’t get car sick,” Jisoo said, inclining her head politely.

“Thank you, Kim-bisou,” Sajangnim said.

Hyungwon wasn’t sure if he was relieved or annoyed when Jisoo and Chaeyoung, both smothering giggles behind their hands, made sure they were seated on either side of him. Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Jennie sat on the middle bench. The back bench was crammed full of supplies. Hyungwon and Hyunwoo-sunbae finished loading supplies into the back, and then they climbed into the front.

“What kind of music do we want to listen to?” Hyunwoo-sunbae asked, reaching for the radio.

“What kind of music do you like, Sajangnim?” Jisoo asked, fluttering her eyelashes a little.

Sajangnim considered. “Chae-bisou, what kind of music do you want to listen to?”

Hyungwon twisted around in his seat, startled. “Me?”

Sajangnim nodded.

Jisoo and Chaeyoung looked surprised.

Minhyuk’s expression was narrow-eyed, calculating.

Hyungwon knew how much the team loved singing at the noraebang together, so he said, “I like k-pop. Hyunwoo-sunbae, find us some k-pop.”

Hyunwoo-sunbae nodded, fired up the radio. Bang Bang Bang came on, loud and proud. Jisoo and Chaeyoung cheered and began to sing and dance along. Kihyun had a lovely classical voice, but he could blend well, and he joined in. So did Hyunwoo-sunbae, grinning as he pulled the van away from the curb and out of the parking lot. Minhyuk, Hyungwon was pleased to note, also had a lovely voice. He’d fit right in with the rest of the team long after Hyungwon was gone.

Hyunwoo-sunbae had picked just the right station, because every song was one they could sing along to, and after several group sing-alongs, they started challenging each other to take solos as each new song came up. Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung had lovely singing voices, and as it turned out, Minhyuk was a pretty decent rapper.

Most of the songs being played were upbeat and bouncy, the kind everyone knew the dances to, and Hyungwon sang along with abandon. Even if his weekend wasn’t going to be Sajangnim-free, he was going to enjoy himself with his coworkers, because he liked them a lot, and this was his last team retreat with them.

And then Jisoo said, “Sajangnim, you should sing the next song that comes on.”

Sajangnim had been singing along quietly, bobbing his head to the beat, and he looked a little startled.

Hyungwon twisted around in his seat to tell Jisoo no, but then Sajangnim caught his eye and grinned, and Hyungwon’s stomach flip-flopped, and Sajangnim said, “All right.”

The commercial break ended, and Hyungwon braced himself for another bouncy energetic hip-hop song, but then a slow song came on.

“Awwww,” the others said.

Chaeyoung said, “Sajangnim, you don’t have to.”

But Sajangnim cleared his throat, sat up straighter, and began to sing. His voice was startlingly sweet and clear.

 _Contrary to how I feel, painful words come out_  
_I made you struggle_  
_And I’m struggling too_  
_Unlike my determination, nothing’s getting better_  
_I always disappoint you_  
_And I regret it too_

Hyungwon was startled because, he realized, he’d never heard Sajangnim sing before.

The others cheered and applauded.

Sajangnim caught Hyungwon’s gaze, and the corner of his mouth curved up in the faintest smirk, and then he kept on singing, right into the bridge and chorus. His voice was powerful as well as sweet and clear.

 _I’ll search the universe_  
_Until I can find you again_  
_I won’t let go, even the smallest memories_  
_Memories engraved in the seasons_  
_They come and go several times_  
_But I will still call out to you_

Hyungwon wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. The others all had their attention fixed on Sajangnim. Minhyuk, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung had turned on their cell phones and were waving them back and forth like lighters at a concert.

Hyungwon knew Sajangnim was just singing along with the song, was performing the same way everyone else had, but Hyungwon couldn’t shake the sense that Sajangnim was singing to him. No. That was madness. It was a very popular song, one that a lot of people liked. Sajangnim had probably learned it to impress one of his many beautiful boyfriends and girlfriends.

When the song ended, everyone applauded and cheered some more. Jisoo and Chaeyoung fawned all over Sajangnim, complimenting his singing style and talent.

“I learned to play piano and sing when I was a child,” Sajangnim said. He’d also learned Taekwondo and how to speak multiple languages. He spoke even more now, as a businessman.

After that, Hyungwon resolutely kept his gaze forward. When they stopped for a break and to stretch their legs, Hyungwon stuck close to Minhyuk, talking to him softly about the many languages Sajangnim spoke and that Minhyuk might want to learn. Minhyuk nodded, listening earnestly, and Hyungwon kept speaking to him, keeping an eye out for Sajangnim. Hyunwoo-sunbae seemed to sense what Hyungwon was doing, and he stayed with Sajangnim, talking to him, buying snacks for him.

Then it was back on the road and more car radio karaoke.

Lunch time was still a couple of hours away when they reached their campsite. Everyone pitched in to make camp together. Hyungwon and Minhyuk had arranged to share a tent, since Minhyuk had an extra large tent. Jisoo, Chaeyoung, and Jennie were all sharing a tent. Kihyun and Hyunwoo-sunbae were also sharing a tent. Sajangnim, of course, had a tent of his own.

He pitched it right next to Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s tent.

“Chae-bisou,” Sajangnim called out. “Could you give me a hand?”

Hyunwoo-sunbae, bless his soul, stepped in. “I’ve got this. Hyungwon, can you and Minhyuk go round up some rocks for a fire pit? The others are getting wood.”

“Of course,” Hyungwon said, and he and Minhyuk ducked away to the undergrowth.

They toted heavy rocks back to the center of the campsite, which Kihyun had brushed clear of debris. They arranged the rocks in a circle, and Hyunwoo-sunbae had a little camp shovel to dig the fire pit. Jisoo, Jennie, and Chaeyoung returned with firewood and kindling.

It took them about an hour to set up camp, including camp chairs, a little card table, and a canopy to keep them shaded. Even though their campsite was very primitive, the entire campgrounds had central bathrooms and showers for everyone to use, for which Hyungwon was grateful, because he had never been particularly outdoorsy. 

“What should we cook for lunch?” Jennie asked, plopping down in her camp chair.

Kihyun slumped into a chair. “I’m too tired to cook. But I knew I would be, so I made some gimbap last night.”

Hyunwoo-sunbae perked up. “Gimbap? Where?”

Kihyun waved at one of the coolers. Hyunwoo-sunbae went to open it. Hyungwon went to help him distribute the containers of food. They were the cute little lunch kind, with their own chopsticks.

“I’m surprised Sun-bisou isn’t more tired,” Chaeyoung said, fluttering her eyelashes at Hyunwoo-sunbae. “He did so much digging and carrying. He’s so strong.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Hyunwoo-sunbae assured her, oblivious to her flirting. How he had ever managed to get married was a bit of a mystery to Hyungwon, but then Hyungwon had never dated, so he couldn’t really criticize. 

“Besides,” Hyunwoo-sunbae continued, “Sajangnim is also very strong.”

“That I am,” Sajangnim said. He peeled off his sweater and sat there in just his thin white t-shirt, and Hyungwon remembered their encounter in the gym, knew what his body looked like underneath.

Chaeyoung and Jisoo fawned over him some more.

Hyungwon sat beside Minhyuk, and they shared a bottle of orange juice while they ate their lunch.

The after-lunch team-building activity was, apparently, some kind of treasure hunt that Jisoo and Jennie had arranged. There were six ribbons hidden throughout the forest around their campground, five red, one blue. The red ribbons were each worth a small prize. The blue ribbon was worth a whole day off. Jennie and Jisoo had already cleared it with HR.

Everyone would be paired into teams to try to collect as many ribbons as possible. The winners could decide whether to keep all the ribbons and distribute them. The losers would have to cook that night.

They all stood in a circle around the campfire while Jennie and Jisoo explained the rules. Everyone would take their phones with them to stay in contact - if their phones got signal at all; most of the company phones would. Jennie and Jisoo had the GPS location of each ribbon in case anyone was in dire need of help.

“Some of the ribbons may be hard to reach, so you’ll have to use your teamwork to help each other get them,” Jennie said.

There would be some amount of teamwork and negotiation if one team only found one ribbon between them.

“Who’s on which team?” Chaeyoung asked, already eyeing Sajangnim. 

Hyungwon started to reach toward Minhyuk, because he made the most sense given that they needed to team-build together, but then a warm hand curled through his.

“Obviously Chae-bisou should be with me,” Sajangnim said.

Hyungwon’s breath caught in his chest, and he turned. Sajangnim was standing very close to him, smiling.

Minhyuk latched onto Hyunwoo-sunbae. “You’re strong. You can lift me into a tree if we need it, all right?”

That left Chaeyoung and Kihyun, who eyed each other with thinly-veiled irritation.

“All right,” Jennie said. She had a whistle like a PE teacher. “Be back in time to cook dinner. Go!” And she blew on her whistle.

Minhyuk took off like a shot, and Hyunwoo-sunbae scrambled after him, startled.

Chaeyoung and Kihyun followed at a more sedate pace.

“This way,” Sajangnim said, and headed in the opposite direction. He was still holding Hyungwon’s hand.

Hyungwon scrambled to keep up with him. “Sajangnim, it rained here recently, so the ground will be muddy and slippery in places. Please be careful.”

Sajangnim glanced over his shoulder, wearing that amused smirk that made women sigh and that made Hyungwon’s heart flutter but also made Hyungwon want to strangle him sometimes. “I’m not afraid to get a little dirty. Are you?”

“No,” Hyungwon said, disconcerted by what he seriously suspected was innuendo in Sajangnim’s tone (but that was impossible, but if Sajangnim called Hyungwon in the middle of the night it was for help with a conference call to America). “But your health and well-being is very important to -”

“You?”

“Me and everyone at the company.”

They’d made the right decision to go opposite everyone else, because after about five minutes of an energetic trot through the trees, they spotted it. The coveted blue ribbon. It was halfway up a tall, skinny tree, which said impressive things about Jennie and Jisoo’s tree-climbing skills.

“I’ll give you a hand up,” Sajangnim said. “You’re lighter than me.”

Hyungwon started to nod, because that was true, and then he _really_ looked up at how far the ribbon was. “Ah, Sajangnim, I - don’t do well with heights.”

Sajangnim eyed him. “It’s not that far.”

Hyungwon swallowed hard. “I know, but - ever since I was a child, I haven’t done well with really any heights.”

“We stay on the topmost floors of hotels all the time.”

“And I never go out onto the balcony.”

Sajangnim eyed him some more. “Since you were a child?”

Since Hyungwon had been kidnapped. Everyone in his family denied it, didn’t remember it, but he remembered. The ghostly woman with the pale skin and straggly black hair. Her bright red shoes. How he’d huddled on a half-broken balcony overlooking a dark room and been terrified of falling with every creak and shift of the floorboards beneath him.

Hyungwon nodded.

“If I get the ribbon, the day off is mine,” Sajangnim said, starting to hoist himself up the narrow trunk.

“You should take more time off,” Hyungwon said.

Sajangnim scrambled up the tree with surprising agility. Hyungwon’s heart climbed into his throat as Sajangnim ascended higher and higher, and he had to look away.

There was a thump as Sajangnim landed beside him, ribbon in hand.

“Heights really do bother you,” he said.

Hyungwon nodded tightly. “Good climbing.”

Sajangnim tucked the ribbon into his pocket, then grabbed Hyungwon’s hand and started walking again, farther away from camp.

Hyungwon thought about pulling away, but Sajangnim’s hand was warm, gentle.

“If you had the day off, what would you do?” Sajangnim asked.

“Me? I’d add that day off to a planned vacation, so I had just a little more time.”

“What would you do on vacation?”

“I’d go to Paris. I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.” Hyungwon’s parents had owned a travel agency when he was growing up, which was why he’d learned to speak multiple languages, to help out at the office when he could. He’d always been envious of their clients who’d come in and book exciting vacations to faraway places.

“We’ve been to Paris,” Sajangnim said.

“Not on vacation,” Hyungwon pointed out.

Sajangnim nodded, humming thoughtfully. Then he narrowed his eyes. “I think I see a red ribbon. Come on!” And he started to run.

“Wait, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon protested, because the ground was very muddy. “I’m not as fast as you!”

“Your legs are longer than mine,” Sajangnim said, and that was true, Hyungwon was a decent runner from all those years playing soccer when he was younger, but -

Sure enough, Hyungwon slipped on a patch of mud. He had the presence of mind to let go of Sajangnim’s hand, but as a result he didn’t catch himself, went tumbling.

When he managed to right himself, his left side was covered with mud, and his ankle was blazing with pain. Sajangnim was kneeling beside him in an instant.

“Chae-bisou, are you all right?”

“I’m alive,” Hyungwon muttered. “Just - give me a moment.”

“We should get back to camp,” Sajangnim said. “Come on.” And he picked Hyungwon up.

“Sajangnim!” Hyungwon protested, but Sajangnim kept walking.

“You can put me down. If I just lean on you -” Hyungwon began, but Sajangnim shook his head.

“This is faster.”

“I’m getting you all muddy.”

“I told you, I’m not afraid of getting a little dirty.”

Hyungwon’s ankle was seriously irritating him, and also he now he noticed how nice Sajangnim smelled. “Please, Sajangnim -”

And it started to rain.

“There - a shelter up ahead.” Sajangnim tightened his hold on Hyungwon and sped up.

Because they were camping in a national park, there were little rest shelters all through the forest for hikers to use. The one Sajangnim had spotted was in good repair, dark wood, benches on three sides, space for a little fire pit in the middle. Sajangnim set Hyungwon down on one of the benches gently.

“Let me see your ankle.”

“I’d rather get the mud off.”

“Take off your shoe,” Sajangnim said, and Hyungwon obeyed, because he always obeyed.

But then Sajangnim stripped off his t-shirt, which wasn’t nearly as muddy as Hyungwon’s, and went to hold it out in the rain. He wrung it out a few times, and then he let it soak some more. He returned to Hyungwon, used the t-shirt to wipe the mud of his clothes as best as he could.

“No, Sajangnim, your t-shirt is expensive -”

“I can buy another. Hold still.”

Hyungwon submitted, tense beneath Sajangnim’s gentle hands. Sajangnim went to rinse his shirt out again, and then he wrapped it around Hyungwon’s right ankle.

“Does that help?”

“Yes,” Hyungwon admitted, trying to be polite. Before today, he’d have been sure that Sajangnim was incapable of tending to anyone with an ailment or being this gentle, because Sajangnim was brilliant and hardworking and didn’t tend to have much patience for those who weren’t on his level, though occasionally he managed a dose of condescension.

“Thank you,” Hyungwon added, because Sajangnim looked terribly anxious.

At that, Sajangnim sat back. “I’m sorry I made you fall.”

“It wasn’t you. It’s muddy out there. It’s even muddier now, I’m sure.”

Sajangnim said, “I have a piece of candy, if you like.” He fished in his pocket.

Given Sajangnim’s physique, Hyungwon wouldn’t have imagined that candy was something the man went anywhere near. But the piece of candy he held out was one of Hyungwon’s favorite, had been since he was very small.

“Thank you,” Hyungwon said. 

Sajangnim unwrapped it very carefully, held it out, and Hyungwon accepted it.

“You know,” Sajangnim said, “since you’re leaving in a few weeks, we should celebrate.”

Hyungwon raised his eyebrows. “So you’re excited to get rid of me?”

“No,” Sajangnim said. “But you have served me well for ten years, and you should celebrate that.”

Hyungwon had planned on celebrating by going out and finding a job he loved and maybe meeting the man of his dreams. Or the man he’d always hoped of finding, Wonho, the boy who’d been kidnapped with him, the one who’d kept him safe, helped him escape from the madwoman who’d taken them.

Wonho had given him candy to comfort him while they’d been huddled in the dark together.

Sajangnim nudged him. “How would you celebrate? Go wild. We’re out in the wild.”

Hyungwon thought. “I’d sleep in late. Then - I’d go to an amusement park with the person I liked. We’d play games and win stuffed animals and ride roller coasters - the ones that go fast and high. We’d maybe ride the merry-go-round, too. We’d walk the streets and get good food, maybe go to a museum. We’d take pictures in front of a famous monument or something. We’d have a street artist draw our portraits, and maybe we’d dance under the moonlight.”

“You have a person you like?”

“I do,” Hyungwon said.

“What’s she like? Or he.”

Hyungwon shook his head. “You wouldn’t be interested.”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

“He’s my soulmate,” Hyungwon said.

Sajangnim looked unimpressed. “You believe in soulmates?”

“We promised to be together,” Hyungwon said, “and when I find him again, we will be.”

“Is that why you’re leaving me?” Sajangnim asked. “To find your soulmate?”

“Somehow I doubt my soulmate would take it well if I were at the beck and call of another man. And like I said - it’s been ten years. It’s time.” Hyungwon stared down at his hands.

Sajangnim finally said, “Your celebration doesn’t sound very wild.”

Hyungwon shrugged. “But it would make me happy.”

Sajangnim gazed past him for a moment. “The rain’s letting up. Come on. Let’s get back to camp.”

And he scooped Hyungwon into his arms, crouched down so Hyungwon could grab his shoe and sock. They were the first to arrive back at camp. Sajangnim dried off one of the chairs as best as he could, set Hyungwon on it. 

“Thank you, Sajangnim.”

“You really can call me Sunbae or Hyung.” Sajangnim leaned in and said, quietly, “Dongsae.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Secretary Chae makes some changes.

Usually for a blind date the couple met at a coffee shop. It was a public place, there were beverages and food to hand to fill awkward silences, and it was easy to make a graceful exit. But whenever Kihyun got involved in something, well, it tended to become a lot more ornate and intense, so instead of Hyungwon picking a nice outfit and going to meet the famed Jooheon - charming, cute, handsome, talented, all-around good man who Kihyun had grown up going to church with - Hyungwon and the rest of his team from work were volunteering at a charity fundraiser for a church.

Jooheon was a youth pastor, and the youth he shepherded were organizing a fair - games, face-painting, treats - to help raise funds to add a wing to the church so more orphans could have places to stay.

“He raps his sermons,” Kihyun said. “Makes it much for fun to listen to.”

“He raps,” Hyungwon echoed as he climbed out of Hyunwoo-sunbae’s car.

Kihyun nodded. “He’s very good. He also sings very well. We were in church choir together when we were younger.”

Minhyuk had decided to come along, because he was full of energy and always wanted to help. Hyunwoo-sunbae didn’t mind, since it would help with team-building, and besides, with Minhyuk’s energy, the kids would love him.

Jisoo, Chaeyoung, and Jennie had agreed to meet them there. They were going to be in charge of a face-painting booth. They’d brought a friend with them, Lisa. She was Thai, spoke pretty good Korean.

They were all wearing comfortable clothes and shoes, but Hyungwon had at least made an effort to pick some colors that made him look good.

The charity fair was being held in a park beside a large church. There were booths set up on the grass between the trees, some tables and chairs for eating, and about two hundred boys ranging in age from about eight to eighteen. They all wore white t-shirts with the name of the church on them, and they were working diligently, putting signs up over booths. It was early in the morning, and the air was filled with a cheery din. There were adults milling around as well, directing efforts, using some of the more complex power tools, making sure the boys had enough water to drink.

Kihyun led the way from the parking lot, and one man peeled away from the group, came to greet him.

“Kihyun! Thank you for coming and bringing help. I appreciate it.”

They bowed to each other, then the man pulled Kihyun into one of those masculine back-slapping hugs, and Kihyun hugged him back.

The man was handsome indeed, with a wide, dimpled smile, even features, and bright eyes.

Kihyun made introductions, and there was plenty of bowing and shaking hands. Hyungwon was a little nervous, because of course Kihyun left him last, but when Jooheon’s gaze fell on him, interest sparked in his eyes, and his smile widened.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, hyungnim,” he said.

Hyungwon bowed back. “You too.”

“What do you need us to do?” Kihyun asked. “Now that I’m here, we can make sure things run smoothly.”

Kihyun was an organizer nonpareil, and also a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak, but Jooheon didn’t seem offended, just smiled.

Hyungwon had expected to be paired up with Jooheon to help him with whatever he was doing, but as it turned out, Hyungwon’s height was needed for some decorating tasks, because the little step-ladders the boys had to hand were only so tall, and so Hyungwon found himself working alongside Hyunwoo-sunbae, helping boys hanging signs over booth and stalls, wielding a hammer and nails to build a frame, then stringing up the signs with twine tied to the nails.

The fair was scheduled to open at ten, so they had a couple of hours to get everything set up. Once the booths were set up, Jooheon and Kihyun and some of Jooheon’s other church assistants helped direct food vendors into the parking lot, and then it was all hands on deck to help carry supplies to the various food booths.

By ten o’clock, the fair was ready to open. Hyungwon was stationed at the front table with Minhyuk, Chaeyoung, Jennie, Jooheon, and one of Jooheon’s old friends Gunhee, accepting money for entrance into the fair and doling out hand stamps so people could re-enter as needed. Apparently Minhyuk had majored in accounting at school, so he was given charge of the cash box. Since Jooheon was the main organizer of the event, he was frequently summoned away from the front table to answer questions or deal with problems, and Hyungwon didn’t know that they’d ever get to really know each other.

But it was a beautiful day, clear blue skies (they’d checked the forecast, no hint of rain) and bright golden sunlight and a gentle breeze, and Hyungwon liked being outside, liked smelling the apricot blossoms. He smiled many times, handed out maps of the fairgrounds - hand-drawn, decorated by a child, photocopied - and stamped hands. Hyungwon wasn’t usually much given for idle chatter, partially because when he was at work he was supposed to be unobtrusive, partially because he was just a quiet person, but he liked to watch people.

Minhyuk was quick with a smile, was like a ray of sunshine around the office. In the outdoors, where they weren’t constantly keeping an eye out for Sajangnim or other important company officers, he was even quicker with his smiles, more open and animated. Little kids loved him. Tiny toddlers would give him hugs after he gave them stamps, and Hyungwon could tell it wasn’t a pretense - Minhyuk was genuinely fond of children, and they could sense his sincerity. For all that Chaeyoung tended to fawn over Sajangnim whenever she had the chance, she was a hard worker, polite and diligent, and she had a smile for everyone who came her way. Gunhee was quieter, his smile more understated, but he seemed to have a modicum of charm on his own, mostly with older women.

For the most part, Hyungwon watched Jooheon. In his early days working for Sajangnim, Hyungwon had learned a lot by listening and even more by watching. Because Hyungwon was a mere secretary, Sajangnim and other business officials of his rank didn’t see much purpose in trying to impress Hyungwon, were a lot more open and honest about things (especially after they got a few drinks in them, though Sajangnim drank little) as if they’d forgotten Hyungwon was there. Now Hyungwon had the opportunity to watch Jooheon. He was a friendly man, charming, quick with a smile and a hug for a child. He was very free with his emotions, his expressions mobile. While he was friendly and capable of handling a lot of tasks at once, he was also quick to be annoyed, impatient, surprised, scared, but the emotion usually passed as quickly as it had arrived, and he was tackling the problem in front of him.

Jooheon could be firm without being loud and mean when an older boy brought a couple of smaller boys to him, boys who had tear-stained faces and glares for each other but pleading expressions for Jooheon. He knelt down so he was eye-level with them, asked the older boy about what happened, then listened to each boy’s side of the story, then was quiet while he considered a consequence.

When he finally issued one, he hugged all three boys, and he sent them on their separate ways - he’d given them separate tasks with separate adult supervisors so all of them could cool off - and then he was answering a question from Kihyun about the raffle machine.

Hyungwon was surprised but pleased when Jooheon brought him a plate of food around noon. He sat it beside Hyungwon with a brief smile and a pat on his shoulder, then hurried away to answer another fair patron’s question. Had Jooheon asked someone what Hyungwon’s favorites were? Because they were all on the plate. Unfortunately, a lot of people decided to show up to the fair in time for lunch, possibly because there was so much wonderful food on offer, so Hyungwon only managed to snatch up tiny bites between helping patrons, and an hour and a half later most of his food was cold when he finally got to it. But it was still delicious.

Jooheon paused beside him one again, picked up his empty plate. “I hope you ate well.”

“I did, thank you.” Hyungwon smiled at him. Jooheon was very handsome, and also kind. Given time, Hyungwon could fall in love with him.

Maybe.

Jooheon wasn’t his soulmate, but - he was a good man.

Halfway through the day, Hyungwon was pleased to get a chance to stretch his legs. Everyone who’d been at the table was sent out to the fairgrounds to keep an eye on the booths and help the boys and patrons at the games and shops, and those who’d been on patrol were watching the table.

Hyungwon hadn’t spent a lot of time around children, working as he did, and his sister had no small children, so he wasn’t always sure how to talk to them or interact with them, but he remembered how Jooheon would kneel down so he was eye-level with them, and he’d seen Hyunwoo-sunbae let loose with his own sons, let go of his own self-consciousness and pour affection on them, so Hyungwon smiled and tried to relax when the boys asked him to try games or help.

To Hyungwon’s vast surprise, the very tiniest boy, who was all of five years old, took a shine to him, followed him around and clung to his leg. Mostly Hyungwon was called upon to use his height to help with things, but he took the time to talk to the boys, learn about them. A good number of them had been born to mothers too young and unwed, unable to care for them. Some of them had been born to happy parents but their parents had died in tragedy and had no kin who would take them in. Some of them had just been...abandoned.

“Let me guess,” one boy said, one of the boys who’d been disciplined by Jooheon earlier, “you grew up with a happy family. Perfect parents.”

“My father died when I was young,” Hyungwon said quietly. “I never got to go to university because I had to work to help my mother and sister. But my sister got to go to university, and she has a good life.”

“Oh,” the boy said. “Did you want to go to university?”

“Yes,” Hyungwon said. “But I have also had a good life, even though I didn’t go. I got a good job and I worked hard.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a secretary.”

“What did you want to be?”

Hyungwon didn’t remember anymore. “Something so I could travel. I always wanted to see the world.”

The boy nodded.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Hyungwon asked.

“I want to go to the Army and join the Special Forces,” the boy said. “So I can save people.”

Hyungwon patted his shoulder tentatively. “That’s an honorable plan.”

The fair was set to close after supper, so people could enjoy their evening meals from the food vendors as well. Hyungwon ended up sharing his evening meal with his little shadow, Siwoo, sitting on a bench beneath a tree and sharing spicy chicken on skewers and some small cakes.

Between walking around in the sun all day and taking shifts at the table, Hyungwon was sure he was more tanned than he’d been since he was a child. Also, he hadn’t seen much of Jooheon, and he was exhausted. But he hugged Siwoo goodbye and went to bade the last of the patrons farewell.

Once the last patrons were gone, Jooheon gathered the boys around to watch Minhyuk count up the day’s total earnings. All day he’d been counting the money, coloring in the meter that tracked the fundraiser goal. He’d used bright markers and had a steady hand, had apparently minored in art in college, and the boys crowded close as Minhyuk broke out the markers again.

When Minhyuk colored above the top line, the boys broke into cheers and hugged each other and Jooheon and the other church workers, and Hyungwon was pleased. But exhausted.

The staff chivvied the younger boys inside to clean up and get ready for bed. Hyungwon rolled up his sleeves and turned to Hyunwoo-sunbae.

“All right, where do you want me to start?”

Hyunwoo-sunbae shook his head, nudged Hyungwon away from the crowd. “We’ve got this. Now is your chance.”

“Chance?” Hyungwon echoed.

Hyunwoo-sunbae gestured with a lift of his chin, and Hyungwon saw Kihyun herding Jooheon toward him.

“You’ve both worked hard all day,” Kihyun said. “Go. Let me be in charge of cleaning up.”

“You just like being in charge,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun nudged him sharply.

It was little Siwoo who tugged on Hyungwon’s sleeve. He presented Hyungwon with a little wicker basket lined with gingham cloth. It was filled with small pastries and two iced lattes.

Jooheon was blushing brightly, but he offered his arm to Hyungwon, and Hyungwon thanked Siwoo before he followed Jooheon away from the fairgrounds, further into the park, along a walking path that led up the hill and away from the city lights.

“I’m sorry today wasn’t a great date,” Jooheon said. “I really appreciate your help. Hyunwoo-hyung and Kihyun are wonderful friends.”

“I was glad to help,” Hyungwon said. “Thank you for lunch, by the way. It was all of my favorites.”

“I asked Kihyun,” Jooheon admitted, ducking his head.

“Thank you for caring. You seem like a very caring person.”

Jooheon laughed. “Not when I was a child. I was very spoiled. I have an older sister, but I am the oldest son, so my parents indulged me. My younger brother is a very good person, always has been.”

“We all grow up.” Hyungwon handed him one of the iced coffees.

“Here, let me take that for you.” Jooheon took the basket from him.

While they walked, they talked. Jooheon was actually younger than Hyungwon by a few months. He’d loved Michael Jackson as a child, and discovered an interest in American music, R&B and soul and hip-hop, and it was from there that he’d learned to sing and rap. His own youth pastor had encouraged him out of his shyness by letting him perform at church, not just the choir but also for solos, and now he loved to perform, especially when it was in the service of others. His pastor had done so much good for him that he’d wanted to pay it forward to others.

“What do you want to be, now that you’re going to stop being a secretary?” Jooheon asked.

“My younger sister is a physical therapist,” Hyungwon said. “My mother still runs the travel agency. I think I’ll work with my mother. I learned a lot of foreign languages so I could be a good secretary, and I know that will help at the agency, and maybe I’ll be able to travel. Do you like to travel?”

“I do,” Jooheon said. They walked along the path, close enough to feel each other’s warmth, and eventually found a little bench below a lamppost that had gone out.

“It’s better this way,” Hyungwon said. “We can see the stars.”

He set basket between them, then realized that was probably a bit rude, but Jooheon didn’t mind, just smiled at him and offered him the first pastry. “My sister lives in America with her husband,” he said, “so I go visit them often.”

“You probably speak English well.”

“I do speak English the best out of most of my friends,” Jooheon admitted. He caught Hyungwon’s eye, smiled. “I could teach you sometime.”

“I would like that,” Hyungwon said. He tipped his head back and looked at the stars. “They really are beautiful.”

“They are,” Jooheon agreed. “Kihyun says you sing well. Coming from him, that’s quite the compliment.”

“Kihyun flatters me.”

“We should sing together sometime. Kihyun plays the piano.”

“Or you could come to a noraebang with us. No drinking necessary,” Hyungwon said.

Jooheon nudged him. “I can hold my drink when I’m not around the children.”

Hyungwon laughed softly. “Good to know.”

Jooheon said, “When I was a child, my pastor told me that the stars are our loved ones looking down on us. I know that’s not literally what they are, but...I always liked that.”

“Me too,” Hyungwon said quietly.

They fell silent, gazing up at the twinkling stars.

After the long day, sharing iced lattes and pastries and gazing at the stars with a kind man,  Hyungwon felt at peace.

A man said, “Chae-bisou.”

Jooheon screamed and shot off the bench, brandishing his crucifix necklace at something behind Hyungwon.

Hyungwon’s heart was pounding in his ears. He twisted around, eyes wide. “Sajangnim?”

Sajangnim loomed behind him, his suit rumpled and his hair wild. “You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“My phone?” Hyungwon echoed. He dug it out of his pocket, went to check the screen, but it didn’t light up. “Oh. The battery must have died. I forgot to charge it last night.”

Jooheon straightened up, tucked his crucifix back under his collar. “Sorry. You startled me.”

“What are you doing all the way out here with this man?” Sajangnim demanded.

Hyungwon’s heart was pounding. He was embarrassed and angry and confused. “It’s Saturday, Sajangnim. I checked the calendar last night. We had no appointments. I’m on a date.”

“A date,” Sajangnim echoed. He looked utterly betrayed. “You never go on dates.”

Hyungwon had lots of practice at keeping a straight face when Sajangnim did something insane. “My life is changing, Sajangnim. I’m doing new things. Did you need something?”

“I needed _you,”_ Sajangnim said.

“I was with some other team members all day,” Hyungwon said. “None of them mentioned that you were looking for me.”

“I shouldn’t have to call them to find you,” Sajangnim snapped.

Hyungwon felt a hand on his shoulder, glanced up and saw Jooheon standing beside him.

“If it’s very urgent,” he said quietly, “you should go help him. But it’s Saturday, and you worked very hard today helping a lot of children.”

Sajangnim stared at Jooheon, his expression blank and unreadable. Then he spun on his heel and strode away.

Hyungwon watched him go, confused and angry.

“I hope I didn’t cost you your job,” Jooheon said.

Hyungwon sighed. “I should have charged my phone.”

“Well, you don’t go back to work till Monday. Try not to think about it. I’ll pray for you.” Jooheon smiled, sat beside him again, offered him another pastry.

Hyungwon was glad the basket hadn’t been knocked over.

“You reacted very - fast.”

“I do scare easily,” Jooheon admitted. He smiled wryly. “Do you have to go?”

“No,” Hyungwon said. “I want to stay and look at the stars, think of my loved ones who I’ve lost.”

Like his soulmate, who he was pretty sure he’d never find. Maybe it was time to let him go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon remembers old fears.

After Sajangnim had crashed Hyungwon’s blind date with Jooheon (who was very nice and Hyungwon had agreed to a second date even though he was by no means madly in love with Jooheon), Hyungwon had expected Sajangnim to be cranky and snappish. He wasn’t wrong.

Except Sajangnim being cranky and snappish was Sajangnim being frostily polite, only asking for the bare minimum of Hyungwon’s presence for regular things but then being downright vicious if Hyungwon got anything barely wrong. Perhaps it was cowardly, perhaps it was practical, but Hyungwon started sending Minhyuk in his place - to hand over reports, deliver tea and cookies, the newspaper, new urgent messages. It wasn’t a bad tactic, because it gave Minhyuk a chance to learn the particulars, like Sajangnim’s favorite beverages and snacks, and also it was hard to resist Minhyuk’s sunny disposition. Whatever grudge Sajangnim had going against Hyungwon, it was against Hyungwon specifically, and he seemed perfectly ordinary to Minhyuk, for which Hyungwon was glad, if a little annoyed.

Hyungwon knew Sajangnim was annoyed that he’d forgotten to charge his phone and hadn’t answered any calls, but there hadn’t been any emergencies over the weekend (Hyungwon had checked first thing Monday morning), but Hyungwon still couldn’t quite comprehend why Sajangnim had been especially irritated that Hyungwon had been out on a date. How did he knew that Hyungwon didn’t date? Other than that Hyungwon had often spent late nights and weekends working with Sajangnim when most sane people would be with boyfriends and girlfriends.

So Hyungwon stayed at the desk as much as he could, answering calls, scheduling appointments, writing reports, and letting Minhyuk respond whenever Sajangnim summoned one of them with a press of the intercom.

Unfortunately, Minhyuk was off getting lunch when the intercom buzzed, so Hyungwon hurried to step around the secretary desk, push open one of the heavy wooden double doors that led into Sajangnim’s office.

He bowed as soon as the door had swung shut behind him. “Yes, Sajangnim?”

Sajangnim began to rattle off a list of tasks for Hyungwon to do. Some of them could be delegated to Minhyuk, but some he didn’t know how to do yet, so Hyungwon listened and committed them to memory, sorting them out as he went. Conference calls to schedule, team meetings to attend and take notes at and summarize, travel arrangements to be made, a planning meeting for a new art center the company was funding.

Sajangnim cut himself off mid-sentence as he listed the people he wanted on the team for the art center. He’d been standing with his back to Hyungwon, gazing out the window (and also snubbing him, but Hyungwon was used to the man’s attitude by now), and then he’d turned to reach for his laptop, and he was frozen.

“Sajangnim?” Hyungwon asked.

In a flash of movement Sajangnim was in the corner, curled in a small ball, not moving.

Hyungwon moved closer to him, alarmed. “Sajangnim, what’s wrong?”

Sajangnim pointed at his desk with a shaking hand.

It was a massive modern thing, glass and chrome. Hyungwon prowled closer to the desk, inspecting it. It was neat and organized - Sajangnim liked his things neat and organized. New phones had been installed all over the building, as well as new Internet routers, but the desk looked otherwise unscathed, and why would Sajangnim behave like this over a small scratch on his desk?

And then Hyungwon saw. Cable ties around the new phone and router cords, bundling them neatly out of the way - out of sight, out of mind. But not far enough out of sight.

Sajangnim hated cable ties.  _ No one _ was allowed to use them in his presence. Hyungwon had learned to use heavy rubber hands.

Hyungwon glanced at Sajangnim again. He was curled up very small, tremors shaking his body.

“Hold on,” Hyungwon said. “I’ll take care of it. Hold on.” He tore through Sajangnim’s desk, but the man had no scissors, because why would he have scissors? Hyungwon did all the tasks that required scissors.

Hyungwon crossed the office, knelt beside Sajangnim, smoothed a hand up and down his back. “Hold on.” Then he went back to the desk, stabbed the intercom button.

“Yes?” Minhyuk asked.

“Bring scissors. Now.”

“Hyungwon-sunbae?” Minhyuk asked.

“Now!”

And Minhyuk was there seconds later, scissors in hand. Hyungwon snatched them from him, cut the cable ties, shoved them into his pockets.

“What are you doing?” Minhyuk asked. “Why are you cutting those? They’re keeping the wires organized -”

“Never use cable ties in my office,” Sajangnim snapped.

Minhyuk and Hyungwon spun around. Sajangnim was standing behind them, face pale, gaze snapping with fury.

Hyungwon bowed deeply. “Apologies, Sajangnim. I failed to train Minhyuk properly.” He’d told Minhyuk not to use cable ties ever, but he wasn’t surprised Minhyuk hadn’t remembered.

He’d remember now.

Minhyuk bowed even more deeply. “I’m very sorry, Sajangnim.”

“Get out.”

Minhyuk fled.

Hyungwon went to follow, but Sajangnim said, “Wait.”

Hyungwon paused, one hand on the door handle.

Sajangnim caught his gaze, held it. “Thank you.” His voice was soft.

Hyungwon said, “I really am sorry.”

“I know it’s not your fault.”

Hyungwon inclined his head politely, then ducked out of the office.

Minhyuk was hovering at the secretary desk.

“Sunbae, I’m so sorry. I forgot -”

“I know. But you won’t forget again, will you?” Hyungwon handed Minhyuk the scissors.

“He must really hate cable ties,” Minhyuk said, putting the scissors back in the drawer.

Hyungwon kept his voice low. “He has a phobia about them.”

“Oh. That’s strange. But I will remember,” Minhyuk said fervently.

Hyungwon remembered being curled against the wall of that decrepit balcony, cable ties around his ankles and wrists, and didn’t think it was all that strange.

Sajangnim stayed late that evening, but he didn’t make Hyungwon stay, so when the rest of the team went out for barbecue and beer, Hyungwon went with them.

“So,” Kihyun asked, “how was your date with Jooheon? Did you like him?”

“He’s very nice,” Hyungwon said.

Even though Minhyuk was the junior-most hoobae on the team, Kihyun was cooking the meat, because Kihyun was the best cook (or so he said - there was some consensus that Hyunwoo-sunbae was better but no one was going to say that to Kihyun) and also a bit of a control freak.

“Very nice?” Chaeyoung echoed.

“We are going on a second date.”

“Better hope Sajangnim doesn’t crash it,” Minhyuk said.

Jisoo said, a little self-righteously, “You should have made sure your phone was charged.”

“I’m sure if it had been a very terrible emergency, Sajangnim would have reached out to me and I would have let Hyungwon know he was needed,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said diplomatically. As he was married with a family, he often declined invitations to team dinners, but tonight he’d agreed to come, which had made Hyungwon more inclined to come along as well.

The scent of sizzling meat was delicious. Minhyuk, as junior-most hoobae, was doing his duty and making sure all of his sunbaes had their drinks topped up. Hyungwon wasn’t sure he’d go along to the noraebang tonight if the others went, and he tried not to drink too much.

“If it wasn’t an emergency, I don’t see why Sajangnim was so upset,” Jennie said.

“I do,” Hyunwoo-sunbae murmured, too quietly for the women to hear.

Hyungwon cast him a questioning look, but it wasn’t something he was going to pursue in front of the others.

“Lee Jooheon-ssi was very handsome,” Chaeyoung said. “I’m glad you’re going on a second date.”

“Me, too,” Hyungwon said.

“If you decide you don’t like Lee Jooheon-ssi, I’ll go out with him,” Minhyuk said.

The women immediately scolded him for being uppity with a sunbae, but Hyungwon just shrugged and smiled.

“Like I said, he’s very nice.”

“So, Hyungwon, what are you going to do once you leave?” Kihyun asked.

“First things first,” Hyungwon said, “I’m going on a vacation to Paris. After that - I’m not sure. I’ll figure something out.”

“I’m so sad you’re going,” Minhyuk said. “I really like you. I mean, obviously we can’t both have the job, but -”

“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?” Kihyun asked.

Hyungwon nodded. “Of course. I don’t forget my friends.”

He didn’t.

Talk turned to how Minhyuk’s training was coming along. Hyungwon was pleased to note that Minhyuk was discreet enough not to mention the incident with the cable ties. Minhyuk assured everyone that they were training him well and he was striving to do better every day, and he really enjoyed working for the company. Then talk turned to the upcoming company athletics competition, of which events everyone wanted to participate in. Of course Hyunwoo would be representing them in swimming. Minhyuk hoped to do the archery portion. Hyungwon would do the three-legged race with Kihyun, because they’d done it for many years and were good together.

“Does Sajangnim compete?” Minhyuk asked.

Hyungwon nodded. “I’m sure he’s already started training.”

“Is he good?” Minhyuk asked.

“Of course,” Jisoo said. “He’s the best.”

“He’s very strong,” Jennie said.

“He never does the three-legged race, though.” Chaeyoung sighed. “Too many people would fight over who gets to be his partner.”

“Of course,” Kihyun said, “he’d pick Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon said nothing.

After the meal, the women and Minhyuk headed off to the noraebang to sing. Hyunwoo wanted to get home to his family. Kihyun had to go meet his brother. Hyungwon went home as well, tired even though he’d had a relatively short work day.

As he lay in bed, he remembered Sajangnim, how small and still he’d been, curled up in the corner, paralyzed by the sight of the cable ties. Hyungwon closed his eyes and drifted toward sleep.

And he remembered that decrepit, abandoned, dusty, cobwebbed theater, curled up on that balcony, bound ankle and foot by those cable ties. He remembered Wonho curled up beside him, hugging him and saying,  _ Hold on. Hold on to me. Everything will be all right. _

Everything would be all right when he found Wonho again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon reads a poem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poetry is IM’s rap part from Underwater.

One thing Hyungwon had never counted on when he’d first started working for Sajangnim at Starship Enterprises was meeting the man’s family. Of course, since the company was part of a chaebol, Sajangnim’s family ran the company, had since his grandfather or even great-grandfather, and when Sajangnim was younger, his father had run the company, and Sajangnim had answered to him, which often meant business meetings at his father’s house.

Sajangnim had his own house, which was located outside the city in peace and quiet, behind a large gate and surrounded by lush gardens. His house had spacious rooms, a gourmet kitchen (that staff cooked in, if Sajangnim ate at home at all), luxurious amenities, and a fancy home gym. Sajangnim’s father’s house was even bigger and fancier, almost like a palace, staffed by an army of cleaners and gardeners and cooks. The only people who lived in the house were Grandfather, as Hyungwon had been instructed to call him, and Madame Shin, Sajangnim’s mother. Growing up in so large a house must have been lonely, but Sajangnim was sociable enough.

Over the years Hyungwon had been to the Shin family home often enough that the staff knew him, welcomed him, that Madame Shin would invite Hyungwon to drink tea and to drink comfortably in front of her. She would quiz Hyungwon about how Sajangnim was doing at work, how his love life was.

So Hyungwon wasn’t overly alarmed when he received a call from Madame Shin, summoning him over to the house to run an errand for her. As she had her own staff, any errand she wanted Hyungwon to complete would be related to Sajangnim’s welfare somehow, so he agreed to be there as soon as possible, and he asked Hyunwoo-sunbae to give him a ride.

“You don’t usually come drinking with us,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said.

When it was just the two of them, Hyungwon could sit up front beside him, watch the scenery go by.

“You don’t go either.”

“I have a family.”

“Sajangnim usually keeps me late.”

“True.” Hyunwoo-sunbae glanced at Hyungwon sidelong. “Will you miss him when you’re gone?”

“I already miss him every day.” Hyungwon looked away, stared out the window.

“He’s not often nice to you.”

“Except he’s often nice to both of us,” Hyungwon pointed out, because Sajangnim was.

If they all had to work late, Sajangnim would order out for very fancy food, or give Hyungwon money to buy fancy lunch the next day, or just money to buy themselves gifts. Even if they didn’t stay in the penthouse, they always stayed at the same very nice hotels as Sajangnim on business trips. Over the years Sajangnim had purchased Hyungwon plenty of practical gifts, like language-learning textbooks, to help him learn new skills so he could be better at his job.

Hyungwon hadn’t much liked it when Sajangnim would call him into the office and quiz him randomly in French or Spanish or English, but when he did well, Sajangnim would smile at him, say he was proud, and Hyungwon felt like he was walking on air for the rest of the day.

The others joked that he tried too hard, was desperate for approval.

No, Hyungwon was just desperate for Sajangnim’s smile.

“True,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said. “You know, he doesn’t understand why you’re leaving.”

“And I can never tell him.”

Hyunwoo-sunbae’s expression turned grim, but he nodded, because Hyungwon wasn’t wrong.

The massive wrought iron gates opened before Hyunwoo-sunbae had to stop and speak to security over the intercom, and Hyungwon watched the gardens unfold as Hyunwoo-sunbae drove slowly up the curving drive. He parked out front of the house, and Hyungwon climbed out.

The housekeeper met him at the door, and they bowed and exchanged greetings, and then she led him into the sitting room where Madame Shin was preparing two cups of coffee for the both of them. She was from a different chaebol family that owned a chain of luxury cafes, and she had trained as a barista in Italy in her youth, took delight in sharing new blends of coffee with anyone who came by.

“Chae-bisou, you look well,” she said.

He bowed and thanked her, accepted the coffee. “Thank you, Madame. As always, you look wonderful.”

She wore a fashionable dress suit, sat opposite him. “How is my son doing?”

“Sajangnim is working very hard, but he takes good care of himself.”

“Is it true that you’re moving on?”

“Yes, Madame. Lee Minhyuk-ssi is replacing me, and he is very capable, learns well.”

Madame Shin eyed him. “Has my son not treated you well?”

“Sajangnim works hard, and I work hard with him, but it is time for me to move on.”

“Of course. You have worked for him for a very long time, haven’t you? Since right after your service.”

Hyungwon nodded. “The coffee is delicious. Thank you very much.”

Madame Shin smiled at him. “My son has a class reunion coming up. I know he will find his own date, but I need you to make sure he is dressed properly for the occasion.”

Hyungwon inclined his head politely. “I will speak to his tailor as soon as possible.”

Madame Shin handed him an invitation on thick, heavy card. It was gilt along the edges, had the crest of the school Sajangnim had gone to. Hyungwon scanned the information. 

“Thank you. You always make him look well,” Madame Shin said.

“Sajangnim is naturally very good-looking,” Hyungwon said, “and he works hard to stay fit.”

Madame Shin looked pleased. “He does get most of his looks from me.”

That was true. Madame Shin had been quite the beauty when she was younger. She sipped some more of her coffee. “Sometime you will have to bring this Lee Minhyuk to meet me.”

“I will. Would you like his telephone number now? Just in case.” Hyungwon reached into his pocket for his phone.

“That would be perfect.” Madame Shin reached for her phone.

“Mother,” a man said, and Hyungwon turned, startled, but it wasn’t Sajangnim, and it didn’t sound like him.

The young man who stood in the doorway was - beautiful. He was slender, well-dressed, with neat, even features and a sweet smile. He had straight, dark hair that looked thick and soft. His expression was a little hesitant.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said. He started to back away.

But Madame Shin smiled. “No, Changkyun, please come in. This is Chae Hyungwon, your cousin’s secretary.”

Cousin? Hyungwon had never heard Sajangnim mention any relatives besides his parents. But Changkyun had called Madame Shin “mother’”.

“Ah, Hyung’s right hand.” Changkyun stepped into the room.

Hyungwon rose, bowed. “Pleased to meet you.”

“I am Im Changkyun. Pleased to meet you.” Changkyun bowed in return.

Madame Shin waved him closer, rose up. “Let me fix you some coffee.”

“Thank you.” Changkyun sat down in one of the easy chairs near Hyungwon. “I have heard Mother speak of you many times.”

“I am sure she is very generous in her comments about me.”

Changkyun smiled. “She’s not one to exaggerate. Mother was very generous when she took me in when I was young, but her generosity is always sincere.”

Hyungwon sipped his coffee to forestall comment. Something about Changkyun was...oddly familiar. Had they met before?

“I am sure Father would have preferred it if I joined the company, but I am not like Hoseokie-hyung, and my mind is for other things.”

“Changkyun is a poet and a very famous author,” Madame Shin said, smiling proudly.

Hyungwon liked to read. He straightened up. “Oh! Anything I’ve read?” 

Changkyun’s name was unfamiliar, but his face was familiar. His smile.

“I write under a pen name.” Changkyun accepted the cup of coffee from Madame Shin, smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I’m sure you’ve read his work.” Madame Shin’s smile was enigmatic. 

“Mother,” Changkyun protested, and he was blushing, but he didn’t look too embarrassed.

“You should be very proud of your work,” Madame Shin said, resuming her seat and sipping some more coffee. “He has won many awards, but he never does interviews or signings or shows his face in public.”

“My work speaks for itself. I don’t need anyone making assumptions about my work because I’m -”

“A chaebol?” Madame Shin arched an eyebrow.

Changkyun shrugged but said nothing. Clearly this was an old debate.

Madame Shin finished her coffee first. “Thank you for coming by so quickly, Chae-bisou. I know you will do well for my son.” And she sailed out of the room, graceful as can be.

Changkyun eyed Hyungwon speculatively. “Chae-bisou, do you like poetry?”

“I do,” Hyungwon said. Poetry had always been one of his quiet pleasures. He rarely had time to enjoy a full-length novel, but a poem was something small he could enjoy during brief breaks during the day.

“I’m working on a piece now, and I wondered if I could get your opinion.” Changkyun rose, and Hyungwon followed him out of the den, down the hall toward the residential wing, which was uncharted territory.

“I don’t know that my opinion counts for much,” Hyungwon said.

“Well, if you appreciate poetry but have no preconceived notion about me, your opinion will be honest.” Changkyun cast a smile over his shoulder, just as enigmatic as Madame Shin’s.

Hyungwon treaded carefully down the lushly carpeted hallway, into a well-appointed study with a heavy wooden desk, the books lined with walls, and a couple of leather-upholstered armchairs. Changkyun circled the desk and scooped up a battered leather-bound journal, flipped it open to the bookmark.

“It’s just a fragment, just a start, but...what do you think?”

Hyungwon cradled the book carefully, scanned Changkhyun’s strong, masculine handwriting.

 

_ Tell me how to forget you _

_ And baby tell me how to stop loving you _

_ Do you still love me too? _

_ Or am I just asking you like a fool? _

_ I’m trying to be good _

_ I thought I’ll be great _

_ I thought everything’ll be okay _

_ But everything wasn’t _

_ Stay here _

_ Please stay for a bit _

_ So I can breathe again _

 

It was mostly in English, with phrases in Korean. It was raw, emotional. But honest.

“I like it,” Hyungwon said. “It’s - not desperate. But yearning. Good rhythm.” He handed the journal back. “It reminds me of one of my favorite poets - I.M. He - or she, I suppose - writes in both English and Korean.”

“Thank you,” Changkyun said, accepting the journal and closing it. His expression was a little shifty.

Hyungwon stared at him.  _ “You’re  _ I.M.” Madame Shin had all but announced it - lots of awards, no publicity or interaction with fans.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not,” Hyungwon said, even though Minhyuk would kill to know his favorite poet’s true identity.

“I guess you do read poetry.” Changkyun tried a small smile.

“Enough to recognize yours,” Hyungwon said. “I enjoy it all. Some pieces more than others, of course, but - yes. It’s always resonated with me.” It reminded him of himself.

Sometimes, the images in Changkyun’s poetry reminded Hyungwon of parts of himself, his past that he didn’t want to face directly. Like the crumbling theater, the cobwebs, the dust and shadows. The pale-faced woman with the red shoes.

The cable ties.

Hyungwon had always liked I.M.’s poetry, because reading it made him feel the way Sajangnim made him feel - alive, excited, a little scared, a little vulnerable.

Maybe all this time he’d liked Sajangnim because the man reminded him I.M.’s poetry.

So when Changkyun said, “You want to go for coffee sometime?” Hyungwon said, “Yes.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon drinks coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poetry is lyrics to Mohae, which IM wrote.

What started out as just coffee turned into dinner turned into after-dinner coffee back at the Shin family home so Changkyun could show Hyungwon another poem he was working on. And then it all went horribly wrong.

All day at work, Hyungwon had felt strangely light and giddy - the way he’d felt when he’d first been invited to go on a business trip with Sajangnim, just the two of them. Being the sole focus of Sajangnim’s attention was a bit of a heady experience. The notion of spending more time with Changkyun, the writer who seemed to know the shadows in Hyungwon’s heart, was thrilling.

More than once, the others had commented on how happy Hyungwon seemed. Because he was leaving soon, right? Had big plans to move on and do fun things.

Hyungwon let them think that, because it was better than letting them think he was going on another date - with Sajangnim’s younger cousin, who’d been basically raised as his younger brother.

Sajangnim had never mentioned his cousin, not once. Hyungwon had assumed that Sajangnim was an only child. (No one else had ever mentioned Changkyun either. It was probably related to the fact that he guarded his privacy fiercely, for the sake of his writing career.)

Hyungwon made sure his phone was fully charged, because he certainly didn’t want a repeat of what had happened on his date with Jooheon (and, okay, he felt a bit guilty for going on a date with Changkyun as well), but once he was finished with work for the day - including reaching out to Sajangnim’s personal tailor and setting up an appointment to look at the latest styles so Sajangnim had a nice suit for his school reunion - his phone didn’t buzz once. Not a single call, email, or text.

So he grabbed his jacket, declined drinks with the others, and went to meet Changkyun at a cafe. It was a nice cafe, down a side street. Changkyun seemed to know the owner personally, because she hugged him and chattered to him in English, chastising him for not staying in better contact.

“She trained at the same school as Mother in Italy, so the coffee here is amazing,” Changkyun said as they sat at a table.

That was surrounded by flowers.

Hyungwon was terribly allergic to flowers. 

He sneezed.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching for his handkerchief and trying to wipe his nose as delicately as possible.

Changkyun studied him for a moment, then signaled to one of the servers. “Can you please remove these flowers? He’s allergic.”

The server nodded and scooped up a couple of flower pots immediately, bustled away, and a couple of other servers moved to help.

“How could you tell?” Hyungwon asked.

Changkyun shrugged. “Pretty easy deduction to make.”

“Sajangnim has never noticed - he always makes me bring flowers for his dates.”

A shadow crossed Changkyun’s face for a moment. “Well - Hyung does things his own way, is sort of...lost in his own world.” But then he looked Hyungwon up and down. “Why would Hyung need dates when you’re around? You’re beautiful.”

Hyungwon blushed startled. “Ah - thank you. But - dating my boss. It’s...not a good idea.”

“Sorry I’m so bold. I’m a writer. I notice things. I like to remember beautiful things. They’re what make the shadowy corners of my mind a little brighter.”

“Your writing is beautiful, so I suppose it works,” Hyungwon said.

Their server finished whisking the plants away, and then he asked them what they’d like to order. Hyungwon picked a blend he’d had from Madame Shin before. Changkyun ordered something a bit more American.

“My publisher is in New York, so it makes sense for me to stay there,” he said. 

“Much of your work is in both languages,” Hyungwon said.

“That is the joy of being bilingual - I can do my own Korean versions of stories and poems. But most of my life is in English. Sometimes I miss Korean. There are things you can say in Korean that you can’t say in English - or at least you can’t say them as well.” Changkyun shrugged. “I don’t come to Korea often, but - do you like to travel?”

“I would like to travel more,” Hyungwon said. “I mean, I go with Sajangnim on business trips, but it’s not really the same. It’s all hotels and factories and conference rooms. My mother runs a travel agency, so I’ve always wanted to travel.”

“What does your father do?”

“He died when I was young.”

Changkyun reached out, curled his hand over Hyungwon’s wrist. “I lost my parents when I was young, too.”

“I’m sorry,” Hyungwon said.

“Mother and Father raised me well, so I can’t complain.”

“But - it’s still hard. Even though I was young, I remember him. I miss him.”

Changkyun nodded.

The coffee arrived, and both of them were glad to have more cheery conversation. They tasted each other’s drinks, talked about some of Madame Shin’s less-than-successful coffee experiments on them. Changkyun talked about how he’d become a writer instead of joining the family business - it just wasn’t for him, but words were his calling.

“How did you start reading poetry?” Changkyun asked. “I don’t want to talk just about me. There’s a reason I avoid interviews.”

“Of course, I had to read it in school, but then - I stumbled across one of your books. A friend loaned it to me. And - you tell whole stories in a single poem. And with how busy I am, I started reading poems instead of novels. I can have an entire epic journey on my lunch break or between meetings.” Hyungwon shrugged.

“You don’t have enough time to read novels?”

“I work side-by-side with Sajangnim, often late into the evening or on weekends,” Hyungwon said.

“Which justifies my decision not to join the company.” Changkyun raised his coffee mug in a toast to himself. “So, basically you live your life for Hyung.”

“Well, his life is for the company, as is mine.”

“How long have you been working for him?”

“For ten years, now. Since I finished my service right after high school.”

“And you’re going to work for him till one of you dies? Which you may well do early, given how much you work.” Changkyun arched an eyebrow.

“Actually, I’ve turned in my notice and I’m training my replacement now.”

“Oh? And what are you going to do with yourself?”

“First things first, go to Paris. After that - I’m not sure. Go to school, maybe? Or work with my mother. I’d enjoy working with her. Much less stressful than working with Sajangnim.”

Changkyun leaned on his hand, studied him. “I’ll bet. But enough about Hyung. We should - get more coffee, first of all.” He peered into his empty mug, then signaled the server.

Talk turned to all the places Changkyun had been, including Paris. He gave Hyungwon advice about places to go, things to see, food to try, places to avoid. Some places he’d traveled to just because, others to have a change of pace while he worked on a project, others as research for a project. Hyungwon talked about all the places he’d heard of, working with his mother growing up, the places he wanted to see. 

They each had four cups of coffee before they realized they’d been at the cafe for three hours, and both of them were hungry, and so they paid for the coffee and went down the street to a nearby restaurant for beef and hot stew. While they walked, they talked about books they’d read and loved or hated, movies and music, all the things people were supposed to talk about on a first date.

Except to Hyungwon it didn’t feel like a first date. It just felt like - talking. To someone he’d known forever and cared about. Maybe because sometimes the way Changkyun spoke sounded like his poetry or prose. And maybe sometimes because he did things that reminded Hyungwon of Sajangnim. They’d grown up together. Of course they’d have some similar mannerisms. Changkyun reminded Hyungwon of Sajangnim, but for once Hyungwon could think of Sajangnim without missing him (or being irritated at him).

The food was delicious, and they went to part ways at the door, and then Changkyun said,

“I have another poem, a longer one, that I’ve been working on. I’d love to hear your opinion on it. We can get some after-dinner coffee from one of Mother’s blends.”

It was easy to say, “Sure.”

They shared a cab back to the Shin family home, trading stories about their coworkers. Changkyun worked with a team of editors and artists, editors who helped sharpen his work to its finest brilliance, artists who helped design the covers for his work or even the layout of the books, like the font and the numbering. Hyungwon had never thought about the thousand decisions that had to be made before a book ever ended up in his hands; he just liked holding them and reading them.

“I prefer real books, too,” Changkyun said.

Changkyun paid for the cab - they’d established that Hyungwon was older by two years even though their birthdays were eleven days apart - and they shed their shoes, headed inside and to the kitchen. 

“I may not be a barista, but I can make coffee,” Hyungwon said.

“All right. I’ll go get my journal.” Changkyun smiled and walked away, leaving Hyungwon to the familiar comfort of making coffee in the kitchen.

Hyungwon set a blend to percolating and had found a couple of mugs by the time Changkyun returned with his leather bound journal.

Hyungwon accepted the journal carefully, cradling it in his hands as he studied Changkyun’s words. He could see both the raw emotion and polished metaphor that had always made I.M.’s work stand out in his mind.

He read through it to himself once, then lifted his head. “Do you mind if I try it aloud?”

Changkyun, who’d been gazing resolutely at the coffee maker, looked at him. “Ah - I don’t think I’ve ever heard one of my poems aloud.”

“Some of your poems sound amazing aloud. Here, see what you think.”

And Hyungwon read. It made him feel shy, the way Changkyun was focused on him, but he read confidently, testing the rhyme and rhythm of the poem.

“Well?” Hyungwon asked.

“It sounds better than I thought it would,” Changkyun admitted. “I can hear some places that need work.” He tilted his head. “What was your favorite part?”

“This part here.” Hyungwon cleared his throat. 

__ “All day I talk to you as if you’re overflowing  
__ Let’s toast  
_ I’m filled and drunk with you  
_ __ So all of the pain flows out.”

Changkyun nodded, considering. “What do you like about it?”

“It’s raw, visceral,” Hyungwon said. “And also - also I know what it’s like to be drunk on someone.”

Changkyun raised an eyebrows. “Really?”

Hyungwon blushed. 

Instead of prying further, Changkyun poured them both cups of coffee, found sugar and cream for them. He offered Hyungwon a mug and then raised him.

“A toast,” he said, and Hyungwon blushed harder.

“A toast,” he echoed.

“To poetry,” Changkyun said, and drank.

Hyungwon sipped his coffee as well. It was a very good blend.

“Mother?” a man asked.

Hyungwon turned, startled, and saw Sajangnim poke his head into the kitchen.

“She’s not here,” Changkyun said.

Sajangnim, who’d smiled at Hyungwon, straightened up, his smile vanishing. “You’re back.”

Hyungwon flinched. He knew that icy tone. That tone usually meant an entire department was about to get fired.

Changkyun nodded. “I am.”

“When do you leave?”

Changkyun shrugged, the gesture deliberately insouciant. “I’m not sure. I was only going to stick around for a week or so, spend time with Mother and Father, but I might stay if things get interesting.”

“Interesting?” Sajangnim echoed, stepping into the kitchen.

Changkyun raised his mug. “Like coffee.”

Sajangnim looked at Hyungwon. Hyungwon felt like a butterfly on a pin, clutched his mug with both hands, eyes wide.

Sajangnim said, “Stay away from Chae-bisou.”

“Hyung,” Changkyun said, his tone sweet but his gaze sharp, “it’s just coffee, not ramyeun.”

Hyungwon blushed bright red.

Sajangnim’s face went terribly pale. “Don’t mess with him. Don’t ruin his life -”

“Ruin his life like what? Like you ruined mine?” Chankgyun set down his coffee mug and straightened up, crossed the kitchen.

Hyungwon set down his mug as well. “Changkyun, Sajangnim, please, it’s just coffee.”

Sajangnim said nothing. Changkyun got right up in his face.

“But I’m guessing you never told your precious Chae-bisou that, did you? You never tell anyone about me. I’m your great shame, your  _ guilt -” _

“Leave him alone,” Sajangnim said quietly, sharply, like a glacier cracking.

“I’ll just go,” Hyungwon said, backing toward the door.

Changkyun caught his wrist. “You don’t have to leave. Stay. Learn the truth about your Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim said, “Let him go.”

Changkyun met Sajangnim’s gaze, defiant and furious. To Hyungwon, he said, “Do you want to go?”

“I think it’s best if I do,” Hyungwon said, tugging a little.

Sajangnim reached out, closed his hand over Changkyun’s wrist. He and Changkyun were of a height, but Hyungwon knew Sajangnim was much, much stronger.

Changkyun punched him.

Sajangnim went down hard.

Hyungwon cried out. “Sajangnim!” He dropped to his knees, heart pounding. No one had ever laid a hand on Sajangnim, would ever dare.

Sajangnim pushed himself up, hand pressed to his nose. Blood streamed from between his fingers. Changkyun swept out of the kitchen, pale but for high spots of color on his cheeks.

“Sajangnim, are you all right? Should I call a doctor?”

“Go to him,” Sajangnim said. He didn’t look like he was in pain. His expression was just - blank.

“But Sajangnim -”

“Go to him. Down the hall. Third bedroom on the left.”

Hyungwon stared at him. What did that mean? Was Changkyun telling the truth?

Sajangnim shoved him. “Go!”

Because it was Sajangnim, Hyungwon obeyed. He staggered to his feet, then stumbled down the residential hallway to the third bedroom on the left. The door was slightly ajar. He knocked.

“Changkyun?”

The door opened wider. Changkyun looked pale - and shaken. Almost scared. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, he’d never hurt me.”

“Then did he tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That he ruined my life.” Changkyun sank down on the edge of the bed.

Hyungwon sat beside him, hesitant. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No one ever does,” Changkyun said. “Mother and Father, they love us both, they want us to get along, but I can’t forget, so I can never forgive what he did to me.”

Hyungwon’s heart pounded in his chest. “What happened?”

Changkyun bowed his head, rested his elbows on his knees, spoke quietly. “When we were children, after school one day, Hyung lured me away from the driver. Instead of going home, we went walking in a dangerous part of town. I was tired and hungry, and he promised to get me some snacks and a drink, and he left me, and a woman kidnapped me. She kidnapped me and another child, and she held me for - I don’t know how long. Days? But it was a nightmare. She almost killed me, but we got away.”

Hyungwon’s heartbeat started to stutter as Changkyun spoke.

“She kept us in an abandoned old theater, tied up on one of the balconies. She barely fed us, and she’d scream at us. She was insane. She’d lost her own children, so she’d stolen new children. There were spiderwebs and giant spiders and -”

“And she had red shoes.”

Chankgyun lifted his head sharply. “How did you know that?”

“Because,” Hyungwon said, “I was the other child.”

Changkyun’s eyes went wide. “What? But - the other boy. He was smaller than me.”

“I was small for my age.”

“You’re so tall now.”

Hyungwon shrugged. 

Changkyun reached out, curled his hand over Hyungwon’s. “I told my parents there was another boy, but no one believed me.”

“No one believed me either,” Hyungwon said quietly. “My mother and sister don’t believe I was taken. It was when my father was very sick, in the hospital. We’d been spending our nights at the hospital, sleeping in the waiting room more often than not, and one night I woke and wandered out of the hospital, and the woman - she found me. I still have nightmares about it, sometimes, but my mother and sister insist it didn’t happen.”

Changkyun clung to him. “Then you understand. How I feel. If Hyung hadn’t abandoned me like that - I’d be a different person. I’d be  _ him. _ Someone would call me Sajangnim, and I’d have someone like you by my side.”

“But maybe you wouldn’t write such beautiful poetry.” Hyungwon looked at him. His heart was still beating so fast, but it was steady. He wasn’t alone in his nightmarish memories anymore. “You promised to come find me.”

Changkyun shook his head. His tone was bitter. “My parents wouldn’t let me. They wanted to forget all about it. I almost think they have. I’ve seen the way they fawn over Hyung.”

Hyungwon had made the other boy promise that if they found each other, they’d get married. Did Changkyun remember? Did Hyungwon want him to remember?

“You got us untied,” Hyungwon said. “I don’t know how. But - you found scissors.”

Changkyun shook his head again. “I don’t remember all the details, but I remember enough. The scissors. The rope.”

The rope? Hyungwon blinked.

“I can’t believe I finally found you.” Changkyun’s voice shook.

“Me neither.” Hyungwon’s head spun.

“Can you just...stay with me for a while?”

“Yes. You stayed with me. I can stay with you as long as you want.” Hyungwon let Changkyun lean on him and wondered what it meant, that he’d finally found his soulmate but it felt so wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon trains for the company sports competition.

Hyungwon came awake suddenly when his phone buzzed violently on the nightstand. He flailed for it, scooped it up. Squinted at it. Couldn’t see. It buzzed again and he almost dropped it on his own face. He fumbled for his glasses, pushed them on.

Text message from Sajangnim.

_ Get up. _

Hyungwon started to type back,  _ Yes, Sajangnim, _ and then he saw the time. It was 4:45 in the morning. He didn’t have to be awake for another hour.

Then Hyungwon heard a car horn honk, and another text message arrived.

_ Hurry up. _

Hyungwon stumbled to his feet and across his bedroom. He shoved the curtains aside and peered out the window and saw - Sajangnim. In running clothes. Standing beside his sleek black sedan, which was parked across the street from Hyungwon’s apartment.

Hyungwon hit the call button. “Sajangnim, is everything all right?”

“The sports competition is coming up. Our team has to win. You need to train with me.”

Sajangnim gazed right up at Hyungwon’s window.

Hyungwon stared at him, dazed. For all that he’d been punched in the face last night, he looked remarkably fine.

Oh, no. Last night. The date with Changkyun that had turned into a disaster. They’d done nothing more than sit with each other and talk, but - Hyungwon had gone home very late, much later than usual.

“Chae-bisou, why am I still waiting?”

Hyungwon jolted back into action. “Be right there, Sajangnim.” He ended the call and raided his closet for his workout clothes, and then he was out of his apartment and down the stairs, phone and keys and wallet in hand.

“You don’t need those,” Sajangnim said.

The car window rolled down, and there was Hyunwoo-sunbae, his expression professionally neutral but sympathy in his eyes. Hyungwon tossed his things onto the front seat, and then Hyunwoo-sunbae rolled up the window. He climbed out of the car, and the three of them set off running together.

While Hyungwon had stayed pretty active in his youth, playing soccer whenever he wasn’t studying or working, he was by no means in great shape, and he struggled the most to keep up with them. Sajangnim had the lead. Hyunwoo-sunbae hung back, partially to maintain security, partially to also keep an eye on Hyungwon and not make him feel so bad.

The entire time they ran, they didn’t speak a word to each other. Hyungwon wasn’t sure which he dreaded more, Sajangnim asking what he’d talked about with Changkyun or, worse, some kind of explanation, his side of things. At the end of the run, Sajangnim led them in stretches, still barely speaking to them.

They’d run three miles, and then Hyungwon was ordered to clean up and meet Sajangnim at the office.

Hyunwoo-sunbae managed a more openly sympathetic smile before he climbed into the car, most likely to drive Sajangnim back home to shower and dress.

At the office, nothing seemed to have changed between Sajangnim and Hyungwon, except Hyungwon was pretty sure Sajangnim didn’t look at him as much, didn’t smile at him. If he’d really ever smiled much at Hyungwon before. But Hyungwon brought him messages, tea and snacks, coffee and reports, smiled and bowed, and everything seemed normal.

Except after work, when Hyungwon thought he might have a chance to go home at a normal time, maybe even call his sister and see if she wanted to get dinner (she’d buy, because she was a physical therapist now and made more money than he probably ever would, unschooled as he was), Sajangnim said they had more training to do.

So Hyungwon changed into workout clothes, and he accompanied Sajangnim and Hyunwoo-sunbae to the company gym on the third floor, and they lifted weights. Which was harder than Hyungwon expected, and not just because he was skinny and not very strong. There was so much to think about when lifting weights - posture, form, working different muscle groups. Sajangnim seemed to know everything by heart, how the seemingly smallest shift in grip resulted in working different muscles. Hyunwoo-sunbae was very strong, had done some weightlifting as well, so he was qualified to be the spotter for Sajangnim, but Sajangnim spotted for Hyungwon.

Hyungwon wasn’t sure how he was supposed to cope, with Sajangnim looking at him so intently and touching him, adjusting his posture and grip. Thankfully, Sajangnim didn’t expect Hyungwon to be able to lift as much as him or Hyunwoo-sunbae, in fact recommended he start slow and ramp up slowly so he didn’t overdo it or injure himself. Which was...considerate.

After, Sajangnim ordered dinner for all of them, something healthy and with lots of protein, and then he dismissed them. Hyunwoo-sunbae drove Sajangnim home, and Hyungwon took a cab.

On the way home, he checked his text messages. Changkyun hadn’t sent him too many text messages throughout the day, which he didn’t mind. Jennie and Jisoo and Chaeyoung had once tried to explain to Hyungwon the appropriate frequency of text messages sent between people who liked each other or were dating, which sounded overwhelming and frankly bothersome while at work, but Hyungwon knew that kind of thing was common and as long as people got their work done, a lot of bosses looked the other way.

“It’s not stalking,” Jisoo had insisted. “It means you care.”

Which Hyungwon could kind of understand, because he always felt warm inside whenever someone he cared about sent him a nice text message. Most of the messages Changkyun had sent him were about the poem he’d showed Hyungwon the night before. He was revising it, sent pictures of revisions in his journal, and Hyungwon, when he’d had time, had read and responded and offered what he hoped was helpful criticism.

Changkyun had asked if Hyungwon wanted to meet for dinner or more coffee. Hyungwon sent back an apologetic text, that he’d worked a very long day, started earlier than usual and ended late (but honestly not unusually late), and he had to head home.

Hyungwon showered and brushed his teeth and tumbled into bed - he had to do more laundry, and soon - and sent his mother and sister text messages.

He fell asleep fast.

And was awakened early the next morning by a call from Sajangnim, who had Hyunwoo-sunbae with him, to go running. All three of them stayed late at the gym at the office, and Hyungwon suspected Hyunwoo-sunbae’s wife was fast forgetting what he looked like, but Hyunwoo-sunbae didn’t complain at all, just acted as spotter and lifted when it was his turn so Hyungwon could learn what to look for in another person’s form.

The third day, Hyungwon fully expected that poor Hyunwoo-sunbae would report that his wife was filing for divorce, but he wasn’t there. Hyungwon and Sajangnim ran together, and after work they lifted weights together, now that Sajangnim was assured that Hyungwon wouldn’t need Hyunwoo-sunbae’s assistance.

Hyungwon had to put off Changkyun for lunch and dinner and coffee every time, because he was always having dinner with Sajangnim, and he felt bad. He was also starting to suspect that Sajangnim’s sudden zeal for the company sports competition was less to do with competitiveness about sports and more to do with competitiveness about who Hyungwon spent time with.

Hyungwon wondered if he had the right to ask what Sajangnim’s side of the story was. After all, they’d put him in the middle of their deep-seeded family grudge in spite of his efforts to extricate himself from the situation. Why had Sajangnim told Hyungwon to go to Changkyun? Was it because he felt guilty for what he’d done? Why didn’t he want Hyungwon to spend time with Changkyun now?

Hyungwon barely had time to talk to his mother and sister before he fell asleep, exhausted.

The next morning, it was just him and Sajangnim once more, running along a path in a park near Hyungwon’s apartment, when Sajangnim suddenly stumbled and went tumbling.

Hyungwon dashed to his side. “Sajangnim! Are you all right?”

“I think I twisted my ankle.” Sajangnim pushed himself up, face scrunched up and pale in pain.

“Let me see,” Hyungwon said, but Sajangnim shook his head. “Is it broken?”

Sajangnim shook his head again.

“You should put some ice on it. Come on.” Hyungwon leaned down, managed to sling Sajagnim’s arm across his shoulders, and together they limped back to Hyungwon’s apartment. Once they were inside, Hyungwon called his sister.

“Oppa, is everything all right? You never call.”

“Dongsaeng, I was out running with Sajangnim and he twisted his ankle. What should I do?” Hyungwon eased Sajangnim onto the loveseat in the den-kitchen and knelt in front of him.

Sajangnim was pale and breathing very hard. He must have been in a lot of pain.

“You need to feel his ankle, see if it’s broken,” Boyoung said.

“All right.” Hyungwon reached out, untied Sajangnim’s shoelace. “Sajangnim, I need to check your ankle.”

“No,” Sajangnim said, trying to bat his hands away.

“Should I call a doctor instead?” Hyungwon asked. “I know it hurts. I’ll try not to hurt you too much.” He managed to ease off Sajangnim’s running shoe.

“Hyungwon,” Sajangnim protested, and Hyungwon’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name on Sajangnim’s lips.

Hyungwon looked up at him, startled.

“Well?” Boyoung asked. “How does it look?”

“He’s in a lot of pain, so he doesn’t really want me to touch it,” Hyungwon said. “It is very swollen.” 

Sajangnim was breathing hard, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said. He peeled away Sajangnim’s sock, stretching it around the swollen ankle -

And his heart skipped another beat.

There was a dark scar around Sajangnim’s ankle, around the top of his foot. It was perfectly straight, deliberate, curved around to the back of his leg and toward the front, but stopped partway. Like he’d been tied up and broken free.

Hyungwon looked up at Sajangnim.

Sajangnim was biting his lip and looking away resolutely.

Hyungwon finished peeling off his sock, then reached out, cradled Sajangnim’s swollen ankle carefully. “Does this hurt?”

Sajangnim nodded stiffly, still not looking at him.

“Well?” Boyoung asked.

“Hold on - I just barely got his shoe and sock off,” Hyungwon said.

“Take off his other shoe. How much more swollen is his ankle compared to the uninjured one?”

“Let me check.” Hyungwon patted Sajangnim’s knee awkwardly. “Sajangnim, I’m sorry, I need to take off your other shoe.”

Sajangnim didn’t respond, but Hyungwon unfasted his shoelace, eased off his shoe and sock.

He had a matching scar on his other ankle.

Hyungwon had never seen them before. It occurred to him that he had literally never seen Sajangnim barefoot before.

“His injured ankle is about twice as swollen as his okay ankle,” Hyungwon said.

“Can he move it?” Boyoung asked.

“Sajangnim, can you move your ankle?” 

Wincing, Sajangnim managed to wiggle his ankle a little bit.

“A bit,” Hyungwon told his sister.

“Then it’s not broken. Put some ice on it, ten on, ten off, and call a doctor,” Boyoung said. “You’re lucky I’m awake this early, by the way.”

“Thank you so much, Dongsaeng. Love you.” 

“Love you too, Oppa. Have fun today.” Boyoung hung up. She had disapproved of how hard Hyungwon worked for Sajangnim for a long time, but now she was older and understood why Hyungwon had worked hard. She still seemed to dislike Sajangnim on principle, and Hyungwon had never dared tell her how he felt about Sajangnim.

Hyungwon stood up. “I’ll go get you some ice.” He went to his freezer and found a tray of ice, put the ice into a plastic bag and wrapped the bag in a dish towel. Then he refilled the tray with water and put it back in the freezer, and he carried the towel over to Sajangnim. He knelt and cradled Sajangnim’s foot in his lap, settled the towel on Sajangnim’s ankle. Then he called Sajangnim’s doctor.

“Hyungwon Hyungwon, how is my favorite Bisou?” Dr. Kim Daebak asked.

“I am well, Dr. Kim, but Sajangnim not so much. He twisted his ankle while we were out running. I have some ice on his ankle, but it’s swollen about twice as much as his other ankle.” 

“Oh dear. And so close to the company sports competition, too.”

“We’ve been training for it together,” Hyungwon said, which was not entirely accurate, because if they’d really been training as a team, Kihyun and the ladies would have been training with them.

“Of course. Where are you now? I’m getting in my car.”

“At my apartment,” Hyungwon said. “Let me send you my address.”

“Thank you. Keep icing his ankle, ten on, ten off.”

Hyungwon glanced at his watch. “Yes, Doctor.”

“So good to hear from you, my favorite Bisou. See you soon.” And the call ended.

Hyungwon said to Sajangnim, “Five more minutes.”’

Sajangnim took a deep breath, then looked at him. “My laptop bag is in my car. We should get some work done while we wait for Dr. Kim.”

“Are you sure?” Hyungwon stood up. 

“I can manage a bag of ice for five minutes.”

“Yes, Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim handed over his keys, and Hyungwon went out to the car. Which also had clean clothes in it. So he grabbed both the laptop bag and the clean clothes, and he returned.

“I’ve set a timer on my watch,” Sajangnim said. He’d set the ice aside. “You should go clean up.”

Hyungwon nodded. He grabbed some clean clothes and showered fast, brushed his teeth and combed his hair, put in his contact lenses. When he returned, Sajangnim had ice back on his ankle again.

“I’ll make us breakfast,” Hyungwon said. He went to poke in his cupboards. “I can manage some ramyeun and coffee. Sorry I only have the instant kind.”

Sajangnim looked at him. “Ramyeun?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“Ramyeun is fine,” Sajangnim said.

Hyungwon opened a couple of packages, filled them with water, popped them into the microwave, set the timer.

Sajangnim had pulled his socks back on. Hiding his scars. Hyungwon knew that plenty of people were embarrassed about their scars, but he couldn’t help but think. Sajangnim had been tied up, had injured himself breaking free. 

Sajangnim was terrified of cable ties.

Hyungwon knew what it was like, to be tied up with cable ties, but he’d been cut free, hadn’t had to injure himself to get free. What had Sajangnim been through, that he had such scars? Changkyun had talked to Hyungwon for a long time about their ordeal in the darkness, with the spiders and the cobwebs and the woman with the red shoes.

But Changkyun had talked about rope.

The microwave finished, and Hyungwon fixed up a couple of trays so they could eat together in the den. He arranged Sajangnim’s injured foot up on a pillow, then handed him the tray.

Sajangnim picked up the chopsticks. “I’ve never had instant ramyeun before.”

“Ah.” Hyungwon peeled off the foil lid of the container, folded it into a little cone. “If it’s too hot, do this.” He put some noodles in the little cone, blew on them, then ate them.

Sajangnim studied him intently, then carefully folded his little lid into a cone. “That’s smart.”

“I’ve had to eat a lot of instant ramyeun in my life,” Hyungwon said quietly. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please,” Sajangnim said.

Hyungwon set his tray aside, then went to fix up some instant coffee. 

“Wait. Don’t let your food get cold,” Sajangnim called after him.

“It’s fine. The water needs time to heat up anyway.” Hyungwon smiled at him. “Is your ankle still hurting?”

“The ice is helping.”

Once the kettle was on, Hyungwon resumed eating his ramyeun. 

There was a knock at the door.

Dr. Kim had arrived. Hyungwon went to let him in, and then he waited in the background till he was needed.

And wondered about those scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I melded in some A Poem A Day. Hyungwon needed a little sister, and Wonho needed a family doctor. I picked Kim Daebak to be the doctor because he's played by Defconn, who often interacts with the boys on Idol Room, and Boyoung seems super sweet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon learns about Wonho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [inspiration for Hyungwon's outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9f/cb/77/9fcb77d711afcb94f13e67480bec6ac8.jpg)
> 
> [inspiration for Hoseok's outfit](https://66.media.tumblr.com/dd3f247ca290c462ebe5b8af38dc1fa5/tumblr_p544v1DkV11vt0cfxo1_640.jpg)
> 
> Both chosen by the recipient of this gift.

“What are you doing tonight?” Sajangnim asked.

Hyungwon, who was about to bundle the last of the day’s files back out to his desk, paused. Sajangnim had never asked him that before. “I was going to go home, Sajangnim.”

“Alone?”

“Well, my big plans probably involved having dinner and watching some King of Masked Singer,” Hyungwon admitted.

“You should come out with me,” Sajangnim said.

Hyungwon blinked. “As in...on a date?”

Sajangnim nodded. “Yes. As my date.”

Hyungwon almost dropped the stack of files. “Oh.”

Sajangnim, leaning on his desk, flashed Hyungwon a winning smile. “Please?”

Hyungwon’s heart was pounding. In the week after Sajangnim had taken that fall, he’d laid off running but not lifting weights, had switched to weight training in the mornings, so some evenings Hyungwon had been able to go out with his coworkers and sister and even Changkyun. Hyungwon liked Changkyun, loved his poetry, but ever since he’d seen those scars on Sajangnim’s ankles, he hadn’t been able to get Sajangnim out of his mind.

“Sure,” Hyungwon said.

“Great!” Sajangnim straightened up, went to the back of his office where he had a small private space, and returned with a garment bag. “This is for you.”

Hyungwon stared. “What is it?”

“A suit. Tailored to your sizes,” Sajangnim said.

“Oh.” Hyungwon started to reach for it, almost dropped the files.

Sajangnim reached out, steadied the stack of files. He took them from Hyungwon, then pressed the garment bag into his hands. “Go, get changed. I’ll take care of these files.”

Hyungwon nodded, feeling his pulse start to race, and then he headed out to the little locker room that staff shared so he could get changed. He hung up the garment bag and unzipped it with trembling hands. He was going on a date with Sajangnim. An actual date. He’d never dared to ask Sajangnim out on a date, but if Sajangnim asked him, that was different.

Hyungwon parted the folds of the garment bag and stared at the suit. It was charcoal gray, with wide-set pin-stripes. It was a three-piece suit, with a crisp white button-down shirt, black satin tie, and matching black pocket square included. Hyungwon was glad he’d thought to polish his shoes last night. He changed quickly, carefully. He’d never had a suit tailored just for him, but he’d helped Sajangnim get dressed in the morning more than once, knew how expensive fabric felt under his hands. 

Once Hyungwon was dressed, he stared at himself in the mirror. He always made a point to dress professionally and neatly so as not to reflect poorly on Sajangnim when he had to accompany him to important meetings and business functions. But he’d never looked fashionable or particularly handsome. In this suit, he looked good. Or at least good enough for someone to believe he was Sajangnim’s date.

There was a knock on the door.

“Chae-bisou, are you ready?”

Hyungwon smoothed a hand over his hair, then hurried and went to the door. “Yes, Sajangnim.”

“I’ve told you,” Sajangnim said, “you can call me Sunbae or Hyung. Maybe you should, for tonight.”

Hyungwon started to say,  _ Yes, Hyung, _ but then he really looked Sajangnim up and down. He was breathtakingly gorgeous. He was wearing a navy-blue pinstripe suit, but it was modern and sleek. Sexy. Sajangnim wore a white button-down shirt that was buttoned all the way up but was low-cut, hinting at his very muscular chest. His jacket was buttoned closed and cinched at the waist with a skinny black belt that emphasized the narrowness of his hips and the relative breadth of his shoulders.

It was the suit Hyungwon had ordered for Sajangnim to wear to his high school reunion.

Which was tonight.

Which was why Hyungwon had been quite assured of his night off, of his plans alone.

“Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said, “I thought your date for the reunion was that drama actress who made her debut last year.”

Sajangnim shrugged. “It didn’t work out. Come on. Don’t want to be too late.”

“Yes, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said, and followed Sajangnim to the executive elevator.

Surprisingly, Hyunwoo-sunbae wasn’t waiting with the usual dark sedan. Sajangnim led Hyungwon through the executive parking lot to a sleek red Corvette Z06. He held the passenger door open for Hyungwon, who had to fold his long legs into the front seat before he buckled himself in. Sajangnim slid into the driver’s seat, and the engine purred to life under his hands. He guided it out of the parking lot and into the glittering lights of the city, calm and competent.

“Really,” Sajangnim said. “Call me Hyung.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Not even for a night?”

No. Not for just one night. “I’m sorry,” Hyungwon said finally.

“Could you bring yourself to call me Hoseok?”

Hyungwon considered. “Yes.”

“Can I call you Hyungwon?”

“Of course,” Hyungwon said.

Sajangnim - Hoseok - smiled at him brightly.

Even though Hyungwon had been to the Shin family home plenty of times, seen some old pictures of Hoseok from his childhood, he didn’t know where Hoseok had gone to school. He was surprised that it was as close to his childhood home as it was, but he wasn’t surprised that it was a venerable red brick building that looked more like a Victorian London mansion than a school.

The building was lit from within, warm golden light spilling out into the evening. A line of expensive cars was parked at the front. More than one of the cars was being attended to by a bored-looking driver. Hoseok parked his car along the front drive, then opened Hyungwon’s door for him.

“So, your school reunion,” Hyungwon said.

“Yes. Fifteen years.”

“I should just hang back and keep quiet like always, shouldn’t I?”

“You’re not my secretary tonight, you’re my date,” Hoseok insisted. He added, smiling a little shyly, “Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon felt himself blushing.

“Besides, you’ll probably recognize some of my classmates. They’re also my business associates.”

Hyungwon wasn’t surprised by that notion at all.

Hoseok accompanied him up the steps, past the classical Greek pillars and portico that made up the facade of the building, and into the massive double doors. A banner hung above a smaller set of double doors inside, welcoming the class to their fifteen-year reunion. Hoseok pulled open one of the doors and gestured for Hyungwon to go first.

Hyungwon stepped into what could only be described as a ballroom, a massive room with gleaming hardwood floors. Small tables dotted the perimeter of the room where people were gathered to chat, enjoy glasses of sparkling champagne (one bottle of which probably cost more than Hyungwon made in a week), and little plates loaded with gourmet canapes, hors d’oeuvres, petit fours, and vol-au-vents.

There were several picture displays, likely of the students in their senior year. Hyungwon could only imagine what Hoseok looked like in his uniform. Hyungwon knew the school was very prestigious, an all-boys school, but there were women in fine gowns on the arms of the men in the bespoke suits with the sleek haircuts and expensive watches.

“Are you hungry?” Hoseok asked. “We can get food first.”

“Whichever you prefer,” Hyungwon said.

Hoseok leaned in, lowered his voice. “Ah, but I asked if you were hungry. I already know which I prefer.”

“Some food would be nice,” Hyungwon offered. He shivered even though he could feel Hoseok’s warmth, because the other man was standing so close to him.

Hoseok smiled. “There. That’s a proper answer to my question. Remember, tonight you’re my date.” And he guided Hyungwon over to one of the buffet tables that lined two sides of the room.

Hyungwon knew Hoseok went on dates. Half the time he was the one who arranged them, calling harangued PAs for young, beautiful drama stars, or private secretaries for reclusive artists, or even the occasional K-pop idol who had finally earned the right to date and wanted to date well. Still, Hyungwon was surprised that Hoseok was such a considerate date, holding Hyungwon’s plate, using delicate silver tongs and spoons to select pieces of the food Hyungwon wanted to try, finding a drink for him. 

Hyungwon followed Hoseok as he drifted over to an unoccupied table, feeling like a moth being drawn toward a flame, and Hoseok set the little plate between them. He’d selected some treats for himself. Usually he was so health-conscious about his food choices, because he cared about his own personal fitness second only to the health of the company, but tonight apparently he was indulging.

There was something almost intimate to the way Hoseok leaned in, talking softly, focusing his attention on Hyungwon as he tried the food.

“Here, try this, it’s delicious,” he said, handing over what looked like some kind of egg roll, only it was filled with mango and some kind of cream instead of vegetables and meat.

“Thank you,” Hyungwon said, a little helplessly. Hoseok was right. It was delicious.

“Did you like it?” Hoseok asked.

Hyungwon nodded, and Hoseok smiled, pleased, like they were sharing a secret.

And then a beautiful man with a beautiful woman in a deep blue gown approached them, clapped Hoseok on the shoulder.

“Shin Hoseok, I wasn’t sure you’d make it this year,” he said.

Hoseok smiled, that charming smile Hyungwon knew so well. “Kim Minseok, it’s been a long time. It’s good to see you. I came just for you.”

Kim Minseok. CEO of EXO Tempo.

Kim Minseok laughed. “Always the joker. I see you brought a stunning date, as always. Supermodel?”

“Says the man whose date is the star of my favorite drama these days.” Hoseok bowed to the woman, offered greetings.

She smiled and bowed in return, flattered.

Then she eyed Hyungwon. “Are you a model? Your face is familiar.”

“He is my other half,” Hoseok said. “He makes my days brighter and gentler, smoother and more peaceful. He has good taste in poetry and even better taste in coffee.”

Kim Minseok laughed. “I never thought I’d see the day, Shin Hoseok tamed. Things are going well for you at Starship, aren’t they?”

“About as well as things are going for you at EXO Tempo, I’m sure.” Hoseok raised his glass of champagne.

Hyungwon glanced at the pretty drama actress, and she nodded at him, expression both sympathetic and rueful. Maybe Hoseok was calling this a date, but in this Hyungwon was still his secretary, his assistant, at his side to make sure things ran smoothly. He was stupid to get his hopes up, that this was a real date, but he was here, and he wouldn’t make things difficult for Hoseok - Sajangnim.

Plenty more people drifted over to the table to speak to Sajangnim, greet him and gossip with him and catch up with him. Hyungwon did his best to remain unobtrusive, smiling and nodding when necessary, fetching drinks and snacks for Sajangnim. More than one date cast him a sympathetic smile.

Hyungwon wondered how long they would have to stay. He’d never bothered to go to any of his school reunions, didn’t know if there was anything to do besides stand around and talk - and compare himself to his classmates and how successful they were. He had just worked up the nerve to ask Sajangnim if they could go, or if he could excuse himself a little early, when another couple approached, ending their privacy.

“Hyung, you remember me?” the man asked.

Sajangnim smiled at him, and they bowed. “Kim Hyujong, long time no see.”

“It has been a long time,” Kim Hyujong said. “I missed the last reunion.”

He had a beautiful woman on his arm. She was wearing a sleek black off-the-shoulder gown and jewelry that was probably worth more than Hyungwon’s life.

Kim Hyujong looked Hyungwon up and down, and Hyungwon pasted on a polite smile. Kim Hyujong turned his attention back to Sajangnim. “Is this new, then? Hyunah and I wore couples outfits when we were first dating.”

Hyunah blushed and smiled at him. 

They looked like they were very in love.

Hyungwon was jealous.

Sajangnim said, “It’s new, but it’s been a long time coming.”

Kim Hyujong patted Sajangnim on the arm. “I’m pleased for you both.”

Sajangnim smiled, like he was sincerely pleased at the compliment. Hyungwon’s chest tightened. There was nothing to be pleased about. They had nothing between them.

Kim Hyujong and Sajangnim chatted some more, reminiscing about old times, teachers they’d loved and hated, school events they’d participated in, and then someone called not for Kim Hyujong but Kim Hyunah, and they drifted away.

Now was Hyungwon’s chance. He leaned in, lowered his voice, “Sajangnim, I don’t wish to be impatient, but how much longer do you wish to stay? Is there someone in particular you wish to see?”

Sajangnim frowned. “Are you not enjoying yourself? I know you don’t know most of these people, but - let’s go outside where we can really talk.” He curled his hand around Hyungwon’s wrist, towed him over to the doors.

Hyungwon shivered at Sajangnim’s hand on his skin, but he followed, because he always followed. Sajangnim led him outside onto the grand steps, off to the side and into the shadow of one of the tall columns.

“Do you want to leave? Is it too boring? We could go somewhere else, get a real meal, do something more fun,” Sajangnim offered. Like it was a real date.

Hyungwon swallowed hard. “Maybe once you’ve spoken to everyone you need to, it’d be best if you take me home.” 

Sajangnim stepped in closer, and Hyungwon fell back a step, overwhelmed by his warmth and scent. “Hyungwon, what’s the matter?”

There was only one week left, one week of being faithful Chae-bisou. Hyungwon lifted his chin. “Nothing, Sajangnim. I know you needed a date for this event, and I’m sorry your date couldn’t make it last-minute.”

Sajangnim furrowed his brow, confused. “I thought you were calling me by my name tonight. Because tonight is a date.”

“Not really, though, is it? I mean, you needed a date, and I can never say no to you -” Hyungwon cut himself off before he said too much, before he said something too disrespectful, something he couldn’t take back.

Sajangnim sighed. “Yes, obviously you were a last-minute emergency date, a last-minute emergency date who I’d had a suit tailored for, a suit to match mine.”

Hyungwon blinked, surprised at the sharpness of Sajangnim’s tone. And the hurt in his eyes. He hastened to apologize. “I’m sorry, Sajangnim. I didn’t think -”

“Do you really want to leave me that much?” Sajangnim asked.

Hyungwon swallowed hard. Before he could reply, two men started toward him.

One said, “Hyung!”

The other said, “Hoseok!”

The first man said, laughing, “Which one?”

The other man said, “Not J-Hope, Wonho.”

Hyungwon froze. “Wonho?”

The first man said, “People had to tell us apart somehow. Jung Hoseok, Shin Hoseok. I called myself J-hope, he called himself Wonho. Once upon a time we were the same size.” He reached out, squeezed Sajangnim’s arm. “How much time do spend at the gym?”

Sajangnim managed to paste on a smile. Hyungwon’s heart was pounding in his chest. Wonho. A nickname. Was it possible? Was the person he’d been looking for in front of him all along?

“Yook Sungjae,” Jung Hoseok said, “so good to see you.”

There was a round of back-slapping hugs, bows, and handshakes, the three men talking over each other in their haste to catch up. The entire time, Hyungwon’s mind was spinning. Eventually the other two men bade Sajangnim farewell, went inside to see their other classmates.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Sajangnim turned back to Hyungwon. “Do you really want me to take you home?”

“Yes,” Hyungwon said. “So we can talk. Alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos by Xiumin of EXO, E'Dawn and Hyuna, J-Hope of BTS, and Sungjae of BTOB.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon and Sajangnim - Hoseok - Wonho - talk.

The drive back to Hyungwon’s apartment was in complete and total silence. He could feel Sajangnim looking at him a few times, but he stared straight out the windshield at the evening traffic and said nothing. Once or twice he saw Sajangnim reach for the radio dial, hesitate, put his hand back on the steering wheel.

Sajangnim parked across the street from Hyungwon’s apartment where he’d always parked for morning runs and followed Hyungwon up the stairs to his door. Inside, they both took off their shoes and put on slippers. Hyungwon shrugged out of his jacket and waistcoat and tie, draped those over the back of a kitchen chair. After a moment, Sajangnim took off his belt and jacket, and then he perched tentatively on the love seat.

Hyungwon sat down on one of the other chairs.

Sajangnim was nibbling on his bottom lip, nervous. “Hyungwon -”

“You’re Wonho.”

“No one calls me that anymore. It was a childhood nickname, so Jung Hoseok and I didn’t get mixed up.”

Hyungwon fixed his gaze on Sajangnim, who looked away for a moment. He never backed down.

“How long have you known who I am?” Hyungwon asked. “That I was the one who got kidnapped with you when we were children.”

Sajangnim leaned in, elbows on his knees. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

Hyungwon could remember quite vividly. “It was a massive team dinner, not just for our team but our whole department. You sat down next to me and said…” He trailed off, eyes wide as realization washed over him. “You said  _ Do you know who I am? _ But I thought you meant -”

“When you applied for the job, I recognized your name, and from your picture I was so sure it was you, but compared to the other candidates you weren’t nearly qualified enough, so - I was hard on you. I made you learn fast and I made you go above and beyond with your language training. But - it was you. Do you remember what you said? After I took you back to your house.”

Hyungwon had recalled that moment a thousand times. He reached out almost unconsciously, because they’d made a promise, linked pinkies to seal it. “When we grow up, we should marry.”

He looked down and saw that Sajangnim had reached out too, that their hands were linked, just like in his childhood.

“Why didn’t you ever say?” Hyungwon asked. His throat tightened, and he had to swallow hard.

Sajangnim blinked rapidly. “You never seemed to remember, and if you didn’t remember - I didn’t want to force that on you. Sometimes I wish I could forget, but - I didn’t want to forget you.”

“Then why does Changkyun think you let him get kidnapped?”

Sajangnim sighed and pulled back, scrubbed a hand over his face. “Really, it’s because he loved me so much when we were younger.”

“That makes no sense.”

“What did he tell you happened?” 

Hyungwon recounted what he’d learned from Changkyun the night of their disastrous first date (if all’s well that ends well, all’s disastrous that ends disastrously in Hyungwon’s book).

Sajangnim’s gaze went distant. “He was the one who wanted to get away from our driver, and I went with him to keep him safe, but then the woman found us, and I told him to run and not stop.”

“She wanted two boys,” Hyungwon said quietly. “So she found me.”

Sajangnim nodded. “How much do you remember about her?”

“Her red shoes. Her pale face. Her long hair. I don’t know what happened to her.”

“She’d lost her own children, two sons. She insisted I call her ‘mother’.”

Hyungwon leaned in, curled his hand around Sajangnim’s wrist. “You got me free, though. You found scissors and cut us free. But you had to break free yourself first, right?”

Sajangnim took a deep, shaky breath. “She hanged herself. Over the edge of the balcony. I had to get my feet free so I could climb over the balcony and get the scissors out of her purse.”

And Hyungwon remembered being tiny and terrified, Wonho’s warm arm around him, Wonho saying  _ Don’t look up, it’s just a spider, a giant spider _ as they ran for the door. 

“Oh, Wonho, I’m so sorry.”

“It was worth it. For both of us to get free.” Sajangnim took another deep breath. “After I got you home, I walked till I found a policeman, and he called my parents. Changkyun - he loved me so much and felt so guilty that he’d left me behind that he made himself sick. Wouldn’t talk. Wouldn’t eat. Barely drank. Just lay in bed for days.”

“He was just a small boy. He was smaller than me. There was nothing he could have done.”

“And he was too small to understand that.” Sajangnim grasped Hyungwon’s hand in return, squeezed. “I went to try to talk to him one day, try to snap him out of it, and he snapped. Started screaming at me for leaving him, for making him so scared, for leaving him with the bad woman. Something in his brain couldn’t handle the guilt, and he thought  _ he _ was the one who was kidnapped.”

Hyungwon stared at Sajangnim. “But your parents know the truth.”

Sajangnim looked away again. “They tried to get him therapy, but none of it helped. He was too young for regular therapy. So - I pretended. I faked a fainting spell at the breakfast table one day, and when I woke up, I told them I didn’t remember being kidnapped.”

That sounded completely insane. “But - how does that help Changkyun? How can he ever process what didn’t happen to him? Because when he talked to me, he got some of the details wrong. He said the woman tied us up with ropes.”

“I didn’t tell my parents all the details,” Sajangnim said quietly. “I didn’t tell them about the woman killing herself. I said she fell asleep and I stole the scissors that way. I told them about you, but not your name. I didn’t want them to worry any more than they already did.”

“Changkyun punched you in the face when he saw you, and he rarely comes home,” Hyungwon said. 

“It’s just - it’s been so long. It’s the story our family is built on. If I told my parents now -”

“They deserve to know. Changkyun deserves to know. Especially since he thinks he and I share something we don’t share.  _ I _ thought he was the one I’d been looking for all this time.”

Sajangnim sat up straighter. “Is that why you’re quitting on me? Because you wanted to go find Wonho? I’m right here. You don’t have to go. I’ve always been here. Please stay. I want you by my side. We made that promise when we were children, but I want to keep it anyway because you’re amazing and I - I fell in love with you.” He reached out, grasped Hyungwon’s hand tighter and tugged him closer.

Hyungwon’s heart thumped in his chest. He’d fallen in love with Sajangnim without the slightest hint that he was Wonho. He’d fallen in love with the man’s smile and his laugh, the way he’d bob his head to music sometimes when Hyunwoo-sunbae played it on the radio, the way he’d do small things like kneel down and speak to a child or buy a coffee for a homeless man or help an old woman across a street. He was brilliant and handsome and ruthless, worked Hyungwon long hours, but he was amazing, and Hyungwon hadn’t been able to help it.

“That’s the problem, Sajangnim.”

“You called me Wonho before.”

“I love you, but - I can’t be your secretary anymore.”

“You said that  _ only two kinds of people spend as much time around each other as we do, and those are lovers - or secretaries.”  _ Sajangnim’s brilliant mind was Hyungwon’s undoing once again.

“Then would you rather have me as your lover, or your secretary?”

“Why can’t you be both?”

“If we are lovers, we should be equals,” Hyungwon said. 

Sajangnim considered for a long, long time. “Were you just going to leave, then, and never tell me how you felt?”

Hyungwon shrugged, uncomfortable, because that had been precisely his plan. “You’re Shin-Sajangnim, I’m Chae-bisou. How could we possibly be together? You’re a chaebol, and I never went to college.”

“You’re Chae Hyungwon, and I’ve loved you my entire life,” Sajangnim said.

“You let me go once,” Hyungwon said. “Do you trust me to come back?”

Sajangnim looked indignant. “You went on dates with other men, including my younger cousin,” he said. “I should never let you out of my sight again.”

“I turned in my notice,” Hyungwon said firmly. “Lee Minhyuk-ssi has worked hard and learned well, and he will be a good secretary for you. He’ll take good care of you, just like I did.”

“But he won’t be  _ you.” _

“Would you rather have me bringing you coffee at the office or coffee in bed first thing in the morning?” Hyungwon asked.

Sajangnim’s eyes went wide, and he swallowed hard. “In bed?” he asked, voice husky with desire.

“Not till I’m no longer your secretary,” Hyungwon said. “The last thing the company or the team needs is a scandal.”

Sajangnim pouted, and Hyungwon was suddenly starkly aware of how Sajangnim was leaning in, how much of his chest was visible beneath his open collar, how his hands on Hyungwon’s were warm and gentle.

“But you love me and I love you and we’ve waited so long,” Sajangnim protested.

“We can wait a little longer.” Hyungwon had been more than prepared to never be with Sajangnim.

Sajangnim leaned in even closer and spoke no louder than a whisper. “Can I kiss you?”

“Will that make it easier or harder, to wait a whole week?” Hyungwon countered.

Sajangnim considered. Then he sighed and sat back. “Chae-bisou, why are you so reasonable?  _ How _ can you be so reasonable? I mean - look at me. Men and women the world over would kill to be in your shoes. How can you resist this?” He smoothed a hand down his muscular torso for emphasis.

Hyungwon swallowed hard, but he folded his hands primly on his knees. “I have a very strong will, Sajangnim.”

“So I see.” Sajangnim looked away, annoyed. Then he looked back at Hyungwon. “Can I call you by your name? At work?”

“If you want.”

“Can I text you?”

“You text me already.”

Sajangnim looked him up and down. “You can call me Hyung if you want. I’ve said it so many times.”

It was Hyungwon’s turn to consider. Then he leaned in, lowered his gaze demurely. “Are you sure you want that, Hyung? When it’s just me and you in your office, me bringing you coffee and reports -”

Sajangnim groaned. “Fine. You win. One more week, all right? One more week and we’re officially dating.”

Hyungwon sat back, victorious. “One more week.” Then he glanced at his watch. “You should go, Sajangnim. I’ll see you Monday.”

Sajangnim glanced at his watch as well. “All right.” He rose, and Hyungwon followed him to the door.

Sajangnim put on his shoes, and Hyungwon handed him his jacket.

“Good night, Hyungwon.”

“Good night, Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim stepped out onto the stairs.

Hyungwon added, “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

Sajangnim’s face lit up.

“I will,” he said, and then he reached out, caught Hyungwon in a tight hug. 

Hyungwon hugged him back, reveling in Sajangnim’s warmth and the subtle scent of his cologne and the subtler scent of his skin, the firmness of his body against Hyungwon’s, the strength of the arms around him.

“Good night,” Sajangnim said again, pulling back, and headed down the stairs.

Hyungwon watched him go, made sure he made it to his car and that his car started, and then he went back inside. He finished changing out of his suit and into pajamas, brushed his teeth and washed his face. Then he lay in bed and stared at his phone till a text message arrived.

_ Home safe. Saranghae.  _

It was followed by a couple of heart emojis.

Hyungwon sent back a few hearts, and then he set his phone aside and fell into peaceful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Secretary Chae quits while he is ahead.

On Monday morning, Hyungwon showed up to work at the same time as usual. He stepped onto the elevator just as Minhyuk did, and they rode up together.

“So, it’s your last week,” Minhyuk said. He was holding a travel mug full of coffee. “Are you nervous?”

“Not at all.” Hyungwon smiled. He’d spoken to his mother over the weekend, made arrangements to start working with her at the travel agency after he got home from his brief vacation. “Since this is my last week, I’m thinking you should take over my duties, and I’ll act as your support. Just step up like it’s all you, and I’ll be taking care of loose ends and stepping in if you’re double-booked for meetings.”

Minhyuk nodded. “All right. That sounds good. I’m going to miss you. I know the whole team will. But I’ll take good care of Sajangnim.”

“I know you will.”

The elevator opened, and they went to their desk. Hyungwon went to log into his computer. Minhyuk did the same, and then he bustled off to the staff kitchen to fix Sajangnim’s morning snack.

Hyungwon scanned Sajangnim’s schedule and his and Minhyuk’s shared schedule. Mostly he had to finish filling out forms for HR to process his separation from the company, cover a few meetings. As a kindness to Minhyuk, he’d update the company’s annual report up to this point, with pictures and narratives to accompany important events, including the company sports competition (in which Hyunwoo-sunbae and Kihyun had performed admirably in archery).

“Good morning, Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon looked up and saw Sajangnim heading for his office, briefcase in hand. He smiled politely. “Good morning, Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim flashed him a small, secretive smile, then ducked into his office. Minhyuk arrived a moment later with tea and biscuits on a plate.

Hyungwon set to work, selecting photos and arranging them in a document with space for the written report. Eventually Minhyuk returned to his side.

“What are you working on?” He peered over Hyungwon’s shoulder.

Hyungwon explained, and Minhyuk nodded, listening and taking notes in his little notebook. Then he set to fixing up the minutes from the last meeting he attended and creating a summary for Sajangnim to look over. The two of them worked in companionable silence till about mid-morning when the intercom beeped.

“Hyungwon,” Sajangnim said, and Minhyuk lifted his head sharply, blinked.

“Yes, Sajangnim?” Hyungwon’s hands on his keyboard paused.

“Would you please have Lee-bisou come in to speak to me?”

“Of course, Sajangnim.”

And the intercom clicked off.

Minhyuk looked at Hyungwon. “He knows I’m right here, doesn’t he? I mean, he can see our desk from his office.”

Sajangnim was just having too much fun saying Hyungwon’s name. He resisted the urge to smile. “It’s my last week. I’m sure things are strange for all of us. You’d better get in there.”

Minhyuk scooped up his phone and notebook and hurried into the office, and Hyungwon resumed typing.

Sajangnim repeated his little game a few more times, asking Hyungwon to deliver a message to Minhyuk even though Minhyuk was right there and perfectly capable of hearing the message and responding on his own behalf. Every time Hyungwon heard his name from Sajangnim’s lips, his heart skipped a beat, but he kept his expression professional and neutral.

As it turned out, everyone on the team wanted to contribute to Hyungwon’s farewell. He’d planned on buying dinner for the entire team on Friday night, but Jennie had cooked lunch and brought some to share with everyone that day. Luckily no one had lunch meetings, so they sat together in the staff break room and ate together.

“What are you going to do with your first day off?” Jisoo asked.

“Probably sleep off his raging hangover after we get smashed at the noraebang Friday night,” Jennie said, and the others laughed.

“So true - oftentimes you work Saturdays,” Chaeyoung said. She patted Minhyuk on the arm. “That’ll be you now, Hoobae.”

“Whatever Sajangnim needs,” Minhyuk said virtuously, though with a mischievous glint in his eye, and the others laughed some more.

After lunch, Hyungwon went to a meeting Minhyuk had been double-booked for, though he had Minhyuk do a summary of the minutes so he could present to Sajangnim if needed. Sajangnim continued his little game, finding excuses to say Hyungwon’s name whenever he could - when he made an indirect request of Minhyuk, when he walked past, when he sent an email to both of them.

Minhyuk was starting to look fairly alarmed, but Sajangnim continued to call him Lee-bisou, and that seemed to keep him calm.

At the end of the day, Sajangnim didn’t have any late appointments, so Hyungwon and Minhyuk were free to go home. They headed for the elevator. Right before the doors slid closed, Sajangnim slipped in, stood beside them.

“Lee-bisou, Hyungwon, big plans tonight?” he asked.

“Just dinner with my family,” Minhyuk said.

Hyungwon allowed himself a small smile. “I’m having dinner with my sister.”

“Give Boyoung my best,” Sajangnim said.

“I will, Sajangnim.”

On the first floor, they parted ways.

Over supper, which was barbecued pork rinds and a bit of beer, Boyoung asked Hyungwon, “Are you ready to leave? Finally be rid of that bossy chaebol?”

“I am ready to leave, and excited to work with Mother,” Hyungwon said. The plan was for him to work with her for a few years, learn the ropes so she could finally retire, and he would make sure she was taken care of.

“Will you miss him?” Boyoung asked. 

“Yes,” Hyungwon said. “He’s been part of my life almost every day for the last ten years.”

“He is very handsome,” Boyoung said grudgingly.

To distract her, Hyungwon asked about the new doctor in her physical therapy department, the one all her coworkers were falling all over themselves to impress, either for romantic pursuits or professional ambitions.

After dinner, Hyungwon waited with his sister till she caught a cab, and then he caught a separate cab home.

*

The next morning, Hyungwon was awakened by a text message. From Sajangnim. Whose name Hyungwon would be changing to Wonho as soon as he no longer worked for Sajangnim.

_ Good morning. Have a good day! Love, Me.  _ It was accompanied with a breathtaking selfie of Sajangnim in a thin white t-shirt in his home gym and pouting at the camera.

Hyungwon stared at the picture for too long, then had to scramble out of bed and shower fast and run to catch a cab to work.

Sajangnim stopped asking Hyungwon to relay messages to Minhyuk, but he still called Hyungwon by his given name whenever he had the chance. Minhyuk seemed settled by this more normal behavior, took it as a sign that Sajangnim was adjusting to the notion of Minhyuk being the person he was supposed to rely on.

Hyungwon, however, was far less calm. Because Sajangnim kept sending him little text messages, like  _ Enjoy your next meeting! Hope it goes fast. Love, Me. _ Each text was accompanied with a damnably attractive selfie and little heart emojis. 

People who weren’t officially dating often sent each other such text messages, looking to win each other’s affection and keep the flames of romance stoked, so Sajangnim wasn’t going against anything they’d agreed on in their conversation on Friday night, but Hyungwon was going slightly insane.

Also, Hyungwon now had proof that Sajangnim checked his calendar during the day, since he always seemed to know what Hyungwon was up to.

Or was he using the security cameras to see what was up? Hyungwon looked up, peered at the nearest camera.

And received a text message.

_ Your face is adorable. Love, Me. _

Just for that, Hyungwon tipped his head back and closed his eyes and smiled and struck a slightly silly pose.

“Hyungwon-sunbae, are you all right?”

Hyungwon opened his eyes. Minhyuk hovered beside their desk.

“Just stretching,” he said quickly, and he cleared his throat.

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment further, resumed his seat and set about typing a summary of his meeting minutes. Hyungwon resolutely didn’t look at the security camera or his phone for the rest of the morning, no matter how it buzzed.

“Sunbae is very popular today,” Minhyuk said. “Is it Jooheon-ssi? Not that it’s any of my business.”

“Ah, not Jooheon-ssi, though he is very nice. I don’t think we’re going to work out,” Hyungwon said.

Minhyuk lit up very much at that, but then he cleared his throat and attempted to look calm and cool. “Ah. Good to know. Have you let him down easy?”

That was something else Hyungwon had done over the weekend. He still wasn’t sure what to do about Changkyun. He hadn’t heard from Changkyun since Friday night anyway. Maybe he wouldn’t have to do anything.

“Yes,” Hyungwon said.

Minhyuk eyed Hyungwon’s phone. “Oooh. Then who’s texting you?”

“No one important.” Hyungwon reached for his phone to see about turning off the vibrate.

And saw a picture of Sajangnim pouting very prettily at him.

_ Don’t you love me too? _ Was the text message that accompanied the picture.

Hyungwon put his phone face-down on the desk a bit too loudly.

The phone vibrated again.

Hyungwon didn’t look at it.

“All right,” Minhyuk said, eyeing the phone dubiously.

Hyunwoo-sunbae provided lunch that day. It was delicious - he’d cooked it himself - and while they ate, everyone shared around contact information so they could keep in touch with each other, have dinner sometimes, go to the noraebang - and so Hyungwon could send postcards from all his exciting travel destinations.

“You’ll have so much more fun traveling than the rest of us, with all the languages you speak,” Kihyun said, a little wistfully.

“Languages Sajangnim will make you learn,” Chaeyoung told Minhyuk.

“I left him my old textbooks,” Hyungwon said, patting Minhyuk’s hand.

Once they were finished eating, Hyungwon helped Hyunwoo-sunbae pack away the dishes, and he thanked him. And when he was alone, he finally checked through the backlog of text messages and frankly adorable and sexy pictures of Sajangnim. One moment he was smoldering hot, sex on legs, the next he was soft and adorable, and Hyungwon’s head was spinning.

He really didn’t know what to do, mid-afternoon, when Sajangnim stopped by the desk and gave Minhyuk and Hyungwon a little box of pastries from a fancy bakery he sometimes ordered from.

“Thank you for working hard, Lee-bisou, Hyungwon,” he said with a gentle smile, and went back to his office.

Minhyuk stared after him, shocked. Then he tore into the box of pastries.

“Is he always like this?” he asked around a mouthful of custard tart.

“No,” Hyungwon said, “but he is more often than you’d expect.” And he selected a little heart-shaped butter cookie with jam in the center.

His phone buzzed with another message.

_ Love, Me. _

*

On Wednesday, Hyungwon was awakened by a text message and a little video of Sajangnim saying hello. He was lying on his stomach and smiling at the camera, kicking his slipper-clad feet idly, and he looked so soft that Hyungwon ached. He’d wake up beside that face every day if he could.

He wondered what fresh torture Sajangnim had in store for him today, besides uses his first name every chance he had and sending him cute text messages. How would he make it to the end of the week?

As it turned out, Sajangnim’s plan of attack was to be as solicitous as possible. Instead of asking Minhyuk and Hyungwon for things, he’d do things for them. He brought them tea and cookies first thing. He made his own copies. He made his own files. He stood around the copy area, wielding a stapler and a hole-punch with calm competence that had everyone in the office gaping and a little terrified. Was he going to do away with the secretary position altogether?

Kihyun brought lunch that day, and Sajangnim bought coffees for everyone, delivered an armful of them with a sunny smile and a wave that had everyone bowing and thanking him profusely and being terrified as soon as he was gone.

“I think you broke him, Chae-bisou,” Jisoo said fervently. “He’s not going to cope without you.”

“I’m sure he will,” Hyungwon said faintly.

His phone buzzed.

He’d been sent a text message with a gif of Sajangnim winking and blowing a kiss.

Hyungwon really was going to lose his mind.

Minhyuk, for his part, was handling the madness with aplomb, going about his duties like he’d been born to them, had been doing them as long as Hyungwon had, and for that Hyungwon was grateful, because things might have fallen apart otherwise.

Mid-afternoon, Sajangnim brought Minhyuk and Hyungwon another tasty snack.

At four o’clock, he poked his head out of his office and told them both they could go home early. He was going home early.

“Early?” Minhyuk echoed.

Sajangnim nodded earnestly. Minhyuk cast Hyungwon a look.

They really didn’t have much more to do, nothing that couldn’t wait till tomorrow, so Hyungwon nodded, though he eyed Sajangnim warily. Minhyuk managed to get his things together first, bade Hyungwon farewell and dashed for the elevator, already on his phone to his younger brother, who he was apparently very close with.

Hyungwon took his time shutting down his computer, gathering his things. He’d scooped up his jacket and was finishing straightening his desk when a shadow fell over him. He looked up, and Sajangnim was leaning on his desk.

“I know Friday night you’re buying dinner for your team as your big farewell, and me being there would make things awkward,” Sajangnim said. “But you’ve been with me for ten years, and that’s worth celebrating. Let me take you to dinner tonight.”

Hyungwon bit his lip. “Sajangnim -”

“Not a date. Come on. We’ve had dinner together before plenty of times in a professional context.” But Sajangnim’s expression was wheedling.

He actually batted his eyelashes.

Hyungwon’s resolve crumbled. “That’s very kind of you, Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim straightened up, triumphant. “Excellent. Let me go get my jacket. I can drive us.” And he vanished back into his office.

Hyungwon’s heart started to pound all over again. He finished straightening his desk, willing his hands not to shake.

And then Changkyun said, “Hyungwon, good afternoon. Do you have a moment? To talk.”

Hyungwon looked up, startled.

Changkyun stood at his desk, hands in his pockets, expression calm and friendly, but his shoulders were tense.

Hyungwon instinctively cast a look about him to make sure none of his more gossipy coworkers were present, though he doubted any of them would recognize Changkyun as either the famous poet I.M. or as Sajangnim’s younger cousin.

“All right, Hyungwon, let’s go,” Sajangnim said, stepping out of his office and shrugging on his jacket. He came up short when he saw Changkyun. “Dongsae.”

“Hyung.” Changkyun dipped his chin respectfully, offered a tentative smile.

Hyungwon looked back and forth between them, but they didn’t look inclined to punch each other or shout at each other or otherwise argue.

“I only need him for a few minutes, Hyung.”

Sajangnim nodded. “All right. I’ll wait here. Come find me when you’re finished.” And he retreated into his office.

“Where’s somewhere private we can talk?” Changkyun asked.

“There’s a balcony where people take their breaks sometimes.” Hyungwon smiled and stepped out from behind the desk. He led Changkyun away from Sajangnim’s office and to the balcony on the west side of the building, held the door open for him so he could step out, closed the door behind them.

It was a lovely spring day, with a cool breeze tempering the golden warmth of the sun. Changkyun tipped his head back for a moment, enjoying. Then he turned to Hyungwon.

“Hyung spoke to me this weekend, told me the truth about everything. I have a lot to think about, to process. I’m sorry I didn’t text you.”

“It’s all right,” Hyungwon said. “I’m sure it was a lot to take in.”

“Not as much as both of you have been carrying all these years.”

“It’s not a contest,” Hyungwon said softly.

“I do like you,” Changkyun said. “But I realize Hyung has liked you for a very long time, and the bond you share with him - I could never compare.”

Hyungwon stepped closer. “I do like you too. You’re a wonderful poet, and an amazing man, but - I’ve liked Wonho for a very long time as well. And not just because of what we survived together as children.”

“I’m glad we could spend time together,” Changkyun said. “I hope we can still be friends. I like your advice on my poetry. If I can still send it to you?”

“I would be incredibly flattered to help you with your poetry,” Hyungwon said.

Changkyun smiled then, genuinely bright. “Thank you. Can I hug you? Before you go.”

Hyungwon nodded, and they hugged each other briefly, then separated. Hyungwon led Changkyun back to the elevators, and then he went to find Sajangnim.

“You let him down easy?” Sajangnim asked. He was sitting in one of the leather armchairs in his office, not really perusing a financial journal.

“Did you?” Hyungwon asked.

“I think our relationship can finally heal.” Sajangnim stood up.

Hyungwon said, “We’ll be friends from now on.”

“Just friends?” Sajangnim asked.

Hyungwon nodded firmly. “Just friends.”

Sajangnim looked satisfied. “Good. Now come on - let’s go to dinner. I’m getting Korean beef.”

They rode in Sajangnim’s fancy sports car to a fancy restaurant at the top of a hotel that overlooked the city. It might have been romantic, just the two of them, but Sajangnim told the maitre’d that they were celebrating Hyungwon being with the company for ten years, and to bring a couple of glasses of champagne, and Sajangnim even had a little plaque to commemorate Hyungwon’s ten years of service, and when the champagne arrived, he made a toast to Hyungwon.

The food, of course, was delicious, and the view was stunning, but the conversation was calm, friendly, professional. Two colleagues celebrating ten years together. Hyungwon wasn’t sure whether he was disappointed or relieved, after everything Sajangnim had done the past few days.

After, Sajangnim drove Hyungwon home, shook his hand at the door, and Hyungwon got himself ready for bed, dazed and a little confused and also full of very good food.

*

On Thursday, Sajangnim woke Hyungwon with another unfairly gorgeous selfie, and Hyungwon decided that enough was enough. He wasn’t going to take this lying down. He was almost finished working for Sajangnim, didn’t have to silently endure what the man came up with.

So he stuck to Minhyuk like glue, was beside him every time Sajangnim summoned him.

He made sure to stand a little too close to Sajangnim when he brought in a tray of cookies and tea. And he leaned in very close when he had to look over Sajangnim’s shoulder to answer a question for him about reports. He spoke very softly, right in Sajangnim’s ear, to answer questions. He patted Sajangnim on the shoulder when he said  _ Thank you, _ letting his touch linger.

He was pretty sure his plan was working, because he felt it when Sajangnim’s breath hitched, when his eyes went wide, when he stammered his response, his lisp more pronounced when he was flustered.

Whether or not Minhyuk noticed, Hyungwon didn’t know, but honestly he didn’t care. Minhyuk made no comment, though, just made room for Hyungwon to accompany him when they answered Sajangnim’s summons, let him speak when Sajangnim asked a question.

Jennie and Chaeyoung had gone in together to bring lunch for Hyungwon that day, and they sat around talking idly, chatting about their days and upcoming projects, and Hyungwon listened. He’d miss their camaraderie, their voices, their energy. He hoped to one day be able to help them all plan wonderful vacations or honeymoons.

Perhaps Minhyuk had noticed what Hyungwon was up to, because the next time Sajangnim summoned them after lunch, Minhyuk said,

“Do you have this? I have to deliver a report to Accounting.”

Hyungwon said, “Sure, I have this.” And he headed into Sajangnim’s office.

Sajangnim looked up, face flushing when Hyungwon circled the desk, stood at Sajangnim’s right hand, close enough to feel the warmth of his arm (and so Sajangnim could feel his warmth too). “Where’s Lee-bisou?”

“He sends his apologies,” Hyungwon said, leaning down and speaking softly in Sajangnim’s ear. “He had to deliver a report to Accounting. What can I do for you, Sajangnim?”

Sajangnim turned to him. “Are you trying to drive me mad?”

Hyungwon smiled as sweetly as he could muster. “You started it.”

“Yes, but - this isn’t fair.”

“I’m just trying to be as helpful as I can, Sajangnim.”

Sajangnim scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yes. Fine. Please bring the financial reports from advertising.”

“Right away, Sajangnim,” Hyungwon said, letting one hand linger on the man’s arm before he straightened up and headed back to his desk. He could feel Sajangnim’s gaze on him the entire way.

Sajangnim didn’t summon either him or Minhyuk for the rest of the afternoon. Hyungwon was disappointed, but he also counted it as a victory.

He had dinner alone that night, some instant ramen in front of the television, watching the latest episode of Idol Room, and considered his plan for the next day.

Sajangnim sent him a goodnight selfie, so he sent one in return, just a sleepy smile, and turned off the light.

Tomorrow was his last day as Chae-bisou. He was ready for it.

*

When Sajangnim sent Hyungwon an adorable good-morning selfie, Hyungwon sent one back, complete with heart emojis. He dressed, he headed into the office, made sure he arrived a little before Minhyuk so he could be all logged into his computer and ready to hit the ground running as soon as Sajangnim arrived.

He was in the break room fixing up Sajangnim’s morning snack tray when some of the others arrived. Jennie and Jisoo and Chaeyoung gave him tearful hugs.

Hyunwoo-sunbae patted them on the shoulders. “It’s all right. He still has all day with us.”

“And probably most of the night,” Minhyuk said, coming into the break room to refill his coffee mug. “You got that?” he asked, nodding at the snack tray.

Hyungwon smiled sweetly. “I figure I should, since it’s my last day.”

That made the girls get all teary again, so Hyungwon hugged them - he suspected he’d be doing that a lot today - and then scooped up the tray, carried it into Sajangnim’s office.

Sajangnim was at his desk, laptop open, three financial journals open and spread out around him, and his brow was furrowed as he composed an important email.

“Good morning, Hyungwon,” he said, glancing up briefly, but with a bright smile.

Hyungwon set the tray on the desk within Sajangnim’s reach but not so close that he might knock something over accidentally. “Good morning, Hyung. Anything you need from me this morning?”

Sajangnim looked up sharply, eyes wide. “Did you just call me…?”

“Hyung?” Hyungwon asked, maintaining an innocent expression.

Sajangnim took a deep breath, flushing pink. He scooped up his cup of tea, drained it all, winced at the heat (Hyungwon winced internally too) and then set it down. “No. I don’t need anything right now, thank you. Hyungwon.”

“Of course, Hyung. I’ll be here for you all day if you need it.”

Sajangnim blinked rapidly, and Hyungwon ducked out of his office before he burst out laughing.

When he got back to his office, he received a text message, a picture of a  sad but adorable pouty face and the caption,  _ You’re trying to make me crazy, aren’t you? _

Hyungwon sent back a selfie of himself pouting and winking and the message,  _ Saranghae, Hoseokie-hyung. _

The response was an emoji of a coffin and a ghost.

Hyungwon didn’t even bother to look ashamed or furtive when Minhyuk returned to the desk.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Minhyuk said. “But it’s your last day. And besides, whoever it is, they make you happy.”

“That they do.” Hyungwon pocketed his phone and set to work, the last of his paperwork for HR, the finishing touches on the annual report.

Apparently Sajangnim was a masochist, because he kept asking Hyungwon into his office, and Hyungwon kept shamelessly calling him  _ Hyung _ and then sending him flirty selfies when he sent sad pouty selfies after each encounter. Whatever the game was, Hyungwon was pretty sure he was winning. Since it was his last day, he figured he’d quit while he was ahead.

Minhyuk was very sweet and brought lunch, potstickers and soda and juice, gimbap and sticky rice. The topic of discussion at lunch that day was that evening’s plans.

Hyungwon had big plans. He was going to buy Korean beef for everyone, so they could have delicious barbecue, and then they’d got to the noraebang and sing their hearts out. Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung were already building a playlist of songs they should sing, some as solos, some as a group, and they kept giggling over it, looking at each of the other team members and then typing more songs into their phones.

“Korean beef is very generous,” Hyunwoo-sunbae said. He patted Hyungwon’s hand. “We’re going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you all too,” Hyungwon said, though he suspected he’d see them more than they realized if things worked out. “But we still have all day and all night together, so we should just enjoy each other’s company. Minhyuk, did you make these potstickers yourself? They’re delicious.”

“I did,” Minhyuk said. “I always make the potstickers for my family at Seollal. My mother taught me.”

“We have such a good team,” Chaeyoung said. “Everyone is such a good cook.”

“Well, not me,” Hyungwon said.

Kihyun shook his head. “That’s because you barely eat anything. You’re so skinny. It’s like you live on coffee and air.”

“I eat lots,” Hyungwon said. “It’s just that I’m so tall and I burn food fast. I don’t know that you’d ever really understand.”

Kihyun, who was the shortest of the men on the team, rolled his eyes, but everyone laughed good-naturedly.

After lunch, Hyungwon was relatively assured that things were going to be fairly quiet. He and Minhyuk sat at the desk, going over the training binders one last time, Minhyuk asking some last-minute questions about small things, like Sajangnim’s favorite brands of snacks and drinks, his favorite colors, his favorite fashion brands, the contact information for his tailor and barber and other important details that could be easy to overlook.

And then Sajangnim tapped on the intercom.

“Hyungwon, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Yes, Hyung. Be right there.” Hyungwon grinned at Minhyuk, then hurried into Sajangnim’s office.

Sajangnim was standing over his coffee table, more journals and newspapers spread out, distracted. 

“I need you to pick up copies of the South China Morning Post and the Hong Kong Star,” he said.

“Yes, Hyung.” Hyungwon made a note in his phone. He knew several street vendors within walking distance of the office, but first he’d send out an email to staff to see if anyone had copies to hand.

Sajangnim looked up sharply again. Then he stepped closer to Hyungwon. “Are you trying to drive me crazy?”

“No, Hyung.”

“Do you have something to say for yourself?” Sajangnim asked, stepping in even closer.

Hyungwon cleared his throat, then looked Sajangnim in the eye. He leaned in. “Hyung, I think I have something in my eye. Could you get it for me?” He batted his eyelashes pointedly.

Sajangnim sucked in a shaky breath, and then he leaned in so they were eye-to-eye, looking right at each other. Shivers danced down Hyungwon’s spine.

“No,” Sajangnim said, his voice breathy. “There’s nothing there.”

Hyungwon batted his eyelashes again, wiped his eye carefully. “Thank you, Hyung. I really appreciate it.”

He stepped back, but Sajangnim caught his wrist. 

“I want to kiss you right now. So badly. But you’re still my secretary for another three hours. And we agreed.”

“Yes, we agreed,” Hyungwon said, and he curled his hand against Sajangnim’s, stroked a fingertip up his palm. “Hyung.”

Sajangnim exhaled, still shaky. “Go. Before I do something unprofessional.”

“Yes, Hyung,” Hyungwon said, and pulled away, headed for the door.

He absolutely winked over his shoulder, then strolled back back to his desk, head held high, triumphant.

Minhyuk was gaping at him as he returned. “Hyungwon-sunbae!” he hissed. He dragged Hyungwon down into his seat, ducked so both of them were hidden below the desk. “Are you dating Sajangnim?”

“Not at all,” Hyungwon said, which was the honest truth. “I’m just his secretary.”

Minhyuk understood the implication, however. He cleared his throat. “Of course. My mistake.” And he straightened up, smoothed down his tie. But he cast Hyungwon an encouraging smile, and they settled back in to work.

At five p.m., everyone finished their work, packed up their belongings, and piled into a couple of cabs to get to the restaurant Hyungwon had made reservations at. The hostess welcomed them, and Hyungwon ordered a round of soju for all his team to start, and they sat at a long table.

Because Hyungwon was buying and the celebration was for him, he handled most of the cooking and serving the food, always starting with Hyunwoo-sunbae, because he was the senior-most member of the team. The food was amazing. And everyone made toasts. Lots and lots of toasts. 

Kihyun made a toast to Hyungwon, for being almost as organized as him. Jisoo made a toast to Hyungwon for always picking out excellent ties for Sajangnim, who was already so handsome - Hyungwon just made it better for the employees who saw Sajangnim every day. Hyunwoo-sunbae toasted Hyungwon for his dedication, for working long hours, for always being by Sajangnim’s side no matter what. Chaeyoung toasted Hyungwon for organizing so many great team retreats over the years. Jennie toasted Hyungwon for always loving his team and helping all of them work together. Minhyuk raised a toast to Hyungwon for teaching him so well and being such a kind and patient mentor.

Hyungwon made toasts to everyone too - for Hyunwoo-sunbae always being beside him and looking out for his safety alongside Sajangnim’s. He toasted Kihyun for being so organized and hardworking and clean. He toasted Jisoo for always boosting team morale and being cheerful. He toasted Jennie for always being level-headed and calm. He toasted Chaeyoung for being fun and helping the team have fun together. 

“And last but not least,” Hyungwon said, raising a shotglass of soju, “Lee Minhyuk, who’s stepping in to fill my shoes. For learning hard and learning well, for being patient and having attention to detail, I raise a toast to you. May you survive late nights and long weekends, midnight text messages and lunch meetings. You have a bright future. May you live it well.”

There was a chorus of  _ geonbae! _ and everyone drank.

There were hugs and backslaps, bows and handshakes.

And then cheers rose up around them, and Hyungwon saw the hostess coming through the crowd, bearing a massive cake covered with candles.

“It’s not my birthday,” Hyungwon said, confused, but the candles sparkled and shone, and when the hostess set the cake in front of him and handed him a knife and a stack of plates to cut and share, he saw that the cake was decorated with lovely blue frosting that read  _ Congratulations for Ten Years of Service! _

“Make a wish and blow out the candles,” Minhyuk said eagerly.

Hyungwon closed his eyes, made a wish -  _ forever with my soulmate -  _ and blew. When he opened his eyes, all the candles were out, and everyone was clapping and cheering. He cut the cake and gave the first slice to Hyunwoo-sunbae, the second to Minhyuk, and kept passing out slices to others and even some bystanders. He kept the final slices for himself, his mother, and his sister.

After they finished their meal and were all pleasantly tipsy, Hyungwon paid the tab, and together they headed to their favorite noraebang down the street. Chaeyoung handed out tambourines. Jennie fired up the karaoke machine.

“First, a group number,” Jisoo said. “For the whole team. This is called Do Better.”

Everyone crowded around the two microphones together, pressed close and swaying and laughing, and the lyrics came up on the screen, and they all started to sing.

After, Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung sang a ladies’ number, As If It’s Your Last. Hyunwoo-sunbae surprised everyone by standing up and dancing with them, and being a very excellent dancer.

Hyunwoo-sunbae, Kihyun, and Minhyuk led a rousing rendition of Gangnam style, and Hyungwon sang with them. Of course, the ladies danced with them, because why wouldn’t they dance to  _ Hey, sexy lady! _

They had another group number, Bang Bang Bang, because they all loved that song.

Then came the solos. Jennie sang I Will Always Love You, because it was a goodbye song. 

Kihyun sang a lovely rendition of Stay With Me, and Minhyuk provided the rap part.

Hyunwoo-sunbae danced and sang to Rainism, which was amazing. Hyungwon had never realized he was such a good dancer.

Of course, Hyungwon had to sing a solo. Because he was feeling ironic - and he was no longer anyone’s secretary - he sang Boss. And he danced. The others’ cheers and applause were incredibly gratifying, and Hyungwon took a deep bow.

All night, they took turns singing, mixing it up with men and ladies - Minhyuk sang Good Girl, Bad Girl with the ladies admirably, even knew the dance - solos and group numbers.

The final number was a rather drunken Auld Langs Syne. After the last notes faded, they hugged and cried. They said goodbye, promised to call and write and text, and one by one they climbed into cabs and went home.

On the ride home, Hyungwon leaned against the window and watched the city lights fly by, saying silent farewells to the people who’d been his companions for a long time, some of them ten years. He paid the cab driver, then stumbled into his apartment, happy and sad and exhausted. He undressed and brushed his teeth and put the leftover cake in the fridge to give to his mother and sister tomorrow, and then he tumbled into bed.

He sent a single text message to Wonho on his phone.

_ Saranghae. _

Then he closed his eyes.

He was going to Paris tomorrow. His flight was early, but his mother and sister would see him off, and he could give them their share of the cake then. He’d be able to sleep some more on the flight. He was all packed and ready to go, had been since Sunday night.

_ Bonne chance, Hyungwon, _ he told himself,  _ and bon voyage. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hyungwon finally makes it to Paris.

Paris was as lovely as Hyungwon had always imagined it. Not as crowded as Seoul. People moved at a different pace. They all spoke so fast, so if he wanted to speak to someone he had to be quite slow and deliberate, but he loved the flow of the language around him as he walked through the streets. Hyungwon had a week all to himself in Paris, to see all the tourist sites and then look for the places that were beyond most tourists, the cafes and bookstores and bistros that Changkyun and other friends had recommended. He had no plans. He was just going to  _ be. _

So on his first day, he set out from his hotel, wallet and phone and hotel key in hand, and walked the streets near the hotel, cobblestone affairs that were narrow and winding and lined by brightly-painted doors and quaint street signs.

Outside a small bookshop, he found a rotating stand of postcards and photos of historical architectural features around Paris. He paused to look at them, find postcards to send to his friends and former coworkers and family. He selected some cards to send, then studied the architectural photos. Kihyun was a hobby photographer and a good one, but Hyungwon wasn’t much of one, so buying professional shots of places he wanted to remember would be a good investment. He studied a few, picked one up and considered it closely.

Maybe later. He was in Paris for a week. He could come back.

He smiled to himself, relishing in his freedom. He had no plans. He wasn’t beholden to his phone. He could go where he wanted, when he wanted. He didn’t need an alarm in the mornings (but the morning sunlight filtering through the curtains of his hotel room had awakened him gently). He didn’t have a schedule or calendar alerts buzzing at him every hour and half hour.

So he went into the bookshop and purchased the postcards and, on a whim, a slender volume of poetry in French, love poems judging by the title, but then Paris was the city of love. He tucked the book and postcards into the front pocket of his hoodie, and then he went wandering further, looking at the buildings, smiling at people. He’d had breakfast at the hotel, but there was no rule that he had to wait till noon for lunch, so when he passed by a patisserie with some pretty chocolate mice in the window, he bought food - stuffed croissants and a couple of the mice.

Because it was a nice day, Hyungwon walked till he found a place to sit, a broad flight of stairs, and he ate his food, basking in the sun. Then he dusted the crumbs off his hands and wrote and addressed his postcards. He really was happy, and not just because he’d finally found Wonho. So he added smiley faces to a lot of the messages, and once those were finished, he tucked them away and opened the book of poetry.

After his conversation with Changkyun, he had a new appreciation for books, so he turned it over in his hands, inspecting the binding and cover, studying the font and page layout. It really was a pretty book. He flipped through the pages, enjoying the whisper of them - and the book fell open to a specific page.

With a photograph tucked in.

One of the photos he’d been looking at at the bookshop where he’d purchased the book. Was it a mistake? Hyungwon picked up the photo, turned it over, puzzled.

And heard the click of a camera shutter.

He looked up, startled. Had someone just taken his picture?

And there, standing several steps below him, was Sajangnim. Shin Hoseok. Wonho.

Wonho was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and a soft grey cardigan with frayed sleeves and had a fancy camera in hand. He smiled up at Hyungwon, shading his eyes against the brightness of the sunlight.

Hyungwon stared. “You’re here. How did you find me?”

“You always said you’d want to go to Paris. As for how I found you - I can see the location of your phone.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well,” Wonho said, “you were always telling me I need to take more time off, and Paris is the city of love, and I’ve never been able to be a tourist so - here I am.” Then he bit his lip and ducked his head a little bit. “You’re not mad, are you? I mean, you quit your job so you’re not working for me anymore. Did you want a break from  _ me? _ Because I can go -”

But Hyungwon was on his feet and hopping down the stairs till he and Wonho were standing eye-to-eye. “No,” he said. “Don’t go. Stay with me. I’m here the entire week.”

Wonho leaned in, lowered his voice. “All right. I’ll stay with you. If you stay with me.”

Hyungwon smiled and nodded. “I will stay with you.”

Wonho slung an arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders and drew him in close. Hyungwon’s senses were flooded with Wonho - his warmth, the scent of his skin, the firmness of his body.

“So, what do you want to do first?” he asked.

Hyungwon shrugged. “Let’s walk and see what strikes our fancy.”

Wonho nodded, and together they set off down the steps. 

They wandered the streets, some Hyungwon had walked before, others he hadn’t, and found a street fair with vendors. They were selling everything from handmade soaps and perfumes to hand-carved wooden toys and decorations to pottery to painting and photography prints to jewelry to handmade clothes. There were street performers and also artists.

“Here,” Hyungwon said, stopping beside a woman’s easel. She was older, heavier set, with dark hair pulled up in a bun, glasses, and a sweet smile. “Have you ever had your portrait done?”

“Not like this,” Wonho admitted.

Hyungwon cleared his throat, then bowed slightly at the woman, spoke to her in careful French, asked how much portraits were, if she could draw them together. Wonho helped a bit, and between the three of them they figured out a price for two of them in one picture, and that they would sit for the artist one at a time but she’d draw them together.

Wonho sat patiently while the woman drew him, but as soon as it was Hyungwon’s turn to perch on the stool and hope that he didn’t look awkward, Wonho was all over the place, buzzing with enthusiasm and energy, asking questions of the artist, peering over her shoulder while she drew, beaming at Hyungwon and encouraging him to smile more.

Hyungwon was genuinely impressed when the woman finished then drawing. She’d captured both of them well, and so quickly to boot. Hyungwon paid, and the woman rolled the drawing into a narrow tube, taped it shut to secure it, and Hyungwon bowed in thanks. Wonho peered through the tube like it was a telescope. Hyungwon wasn’t used to seeing this side of him, playful and carefree and not so serious like Sajangnim often was. Hyungwon had the sense that he was seeing a side of Wonho few people got to see, and seeing it for them was all the rarer still.

“You know,” Wonho said, “when we were younger, we promised each other many things. To find each other. To marry each other.”

Hyungwon had never been embarrassed of his childhood self’s earnest desire to always be with the person who had been with him in his darkest hour, but he felt himself blushing anyway. He said, “You promised to win me a stuffed animal in a game.”

“It was the other way around,” Wonho said. “You said you’d win one for me.”

Hyungwon tilted his head, considering. “Did I? Well, let’s go find some way to win a stuffed animal.”

They bade their artist friend farewell, and they moseyed through the little street fair till Wonho spotted it, a familiar cuboid contraption, with plexiglass walls surrounding a veritable treasure trove of stuffed animals. Wonho dug into his pockets. He had some Euro coins to hand.

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” He pressed the coins into Hyungwon’s hand, and for a moment, Hyungwon thrilled at their closeness.

Then he popped the coins into the machine, and the claw came alive.

“Which stuffed animal do you want?” 

Wonho pointed to a fluffy pink bunny.

Hyungwon tested the joystick, felt whether it was loose or tight, and set about trying to navigate the claw to the bunny. Not even close. Wonho laughed at him and nudged him aside. He didn’t get much closer. After three tries each, they were almost out of coins, and neither of them had come particularly close to winning the bunny or any other stuffed animal.

“Maybe they’re easier back in Korea,” Hyungwon said.

“Maybe,” Wonho said. He slung an arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders and reeled him in close, craned his neck to scan their surroundings. 

“Look, over there, a carnival. I bet they have more games.”

And so they walked together, scanning the booths till they found one that looked like a good candidate for winning stuffed animals: an air soft rifle target challenge, balloons in wooden barrels.

“You did your service right out of high school, didn’t you?” Wonho said.

Hyungwon nodded.

“Me too. Which branch?”

“Army,” Hyungwon said. “I was a clerk for an officer. You?”

“Marines. Special Forces,” Wonho said, not without a hint of a smirk. He handed over some bills to the booth operator, who handed both of them rifles. Wonho shouldered the rifle easily.

It had been a long time for Hyungwon, but he hadn’t forgotten how to handle a rifle, so he shouldered his.

Several other players lined up beside them, handed over money, and once the entire line was filled, the booth operator rang the starting bell.

Hyungwon pressed his cheek to the stock of the rifle, closed one eye, inhaled. Exhaled and squeezed the trigger.

A brightly-colored balloon popped. Yes, he remembered how to do this.

He sank into a kind of trance, was startled out of it when the ending bell clanged.

“I can’t believe you,” Wonho said, shoving his shoulder. “You held out on me.”

Hyungwon blinked, confused - and saw that he’d hit all his balloons but Wonho had missed one. “What? Oh. I did get marksmanship medals in the Army.”

“I’m impressed,” Wonho said, with a spark of heat in his gaze.

The booth operator congratulated Hyungwon and handed him a small stuffed cat. Hyungwon handed over some more cash to play another round and won another cat, which he gave to Wonho. Wonho cradled it, stroking it fondly, a small smile on his face. Then he promptly perched it on his head, so Hyungwon did the same, and they walked together through the fair.

They talked about the other things they’d promised each other as children - sharing ice cream and junk food, going to an amusement park together. Even though Hyungwon hated heights, he agreed to go on a roller coaster with Wonho. They held hands the entire time. After, they bought ice cream cones. Wonho stole a bite of his, and it took everything Hyungwon had not to chase after him and kiss the sticky sweetness from his lips.

After a while they wandered away from the carnival, walked along the river and looked at the ducks, paused and listened to some street musicians. Hyungwon remembered how surprised he’d been, that Wonho had such a lovely singing voice. He’d said his parents made him take piano lessons as a child. Hyungwon had never heard him play. There was a piano in at the Shin family home but not Wonho’s house. Did he not play anymore? Hyungwon would have to ask sometime.

They walked through some fancy gardens out front of a historical building. Wonho took pictures of the building and the garden while Hyungwon read.

Eventually, Wonho sat beside him, peered over his shoulder. “What’s more interesting than me?”

“Poetry,” Hyungwon said. “And it’s not more interesting than you, but it is more interesting than watching you take pictures.”

Wonho pouted for a moment - then deftly plucked the book out of his hands and picked a random page, began to read.

In fluent French.

It was a love poem. Hyungwon felt himself blushing even more.

“You really like poetry,” Wonho said.

Hyungwon nodded. 

“I’ll learn some for you,” Wonho said softly. But he tucked the book away into his satchel and tugged Hyungwon to his feet. “Come on. I have some other promises to keep.”

They headed back toward the carnival as evening drew down on them, walked until they found the golden spinning lights of a carousel at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, which was also glowing golden and bright, like a flame.

“Remember?” Wonho asked. “I promised to ride with you on the merry-go-round.”

Hyungwon nodded. “I remember.”

“So come on.” Wonho laced his fingers through Hyungwon’s, and together they paid the ride operator, climbed into beautifully carved and painted horses right next to each other. Wonho had his camera the whole time, snapping pictures of Hyungwon and himself as they went around and around, rising and falling on the horses, the organ music floating all around them.

Hyungwon had loved carousels as a child, and whenever he’d written one, he’d wished Wonho was with him.

After they rode, they went and found some terribly unhealthy junk food, traditional Parisian street food, and they wolfed it down, grinning at each other like a pair of fiends.

“You know what we have to do while we’re in Paris,” Wonho said, drawing Hyungwon close with an arm around his shoulders once more.

“What?” Hyungwon asked, a little breathlessly, because he was fast becoming addicted to Wonho’s body beside his.

Wonho leaned in close, lowered his voice like he was about to reveal a great secret. “We have to get pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower.”

Hyungwon nodded. “Definitely.”

“You want to?”

“I want to.”

Wonho smiled. “Good. Come on.” 

Together, they headed toward the Eiffel Tower, which was still glowing beautiful golden. Wonho directed Hyungwon to pose in front of it, snapped a few pictures. Hyungwon did his best to smile, but eventually he beckoned Wonho to join him.

“You have to be in some of the pictures with me, and then I’ll take pictures of you,” Hyungwon said.

Wonho nodded, and he set the timer on his camera, then put it up on a nearby pedestal of a statue. He went to press himself against Hyungwon’s side.

“One, two, three!”

Hyungwon smiled, heard the shutter click.

“New pose,” Wonho said, and pulled away, taking his delicious warmth with him.

“Wait,” Hyungwon protested, “stay with me for one more.”

And then he saw that Wonho was down on one knee and offering up a golden ring.

The camera shutter clicked.

“Chae Hyungwon,” Wonho said. “Promise you’ll never leave me again?”

“I promise,” Hyungwon said.

The camera shutter clicked.

Hyungwon pulled Wonho to his feet and kissed him.

Wonho wrapped his arms around Hyungwon, kissed him back, warm and slow and sweet. When they parted for air, Wonho held out the ring again, and Hyungwon slid it onto his left hand, startled by its coolness.

Behind them, the Eiffel Tower started to sparkle like a parade of fireworks. 

The camera shutter clicked. 

Hyungwon said, “Where are you staying? I have a hotel room near here.”

Wonho tapped Hyungwon’s ring. “I’m with you. Always.”

Hyungwon smiled. Then he laced his fingers through Wonho’s and tugged. “Let’s go.”

And they went, hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s be real. It’s the From Zero MV.

**Author's Note:**

> Also by this Nonny Mouse: [My End and My Beginning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104910) (ShowHo fic)


End file.
